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Bicycle Seat Shorts

Taking the concept of bicycle shorts one step further
  (+10, -3)
(+10, -3)
  [vote for,

The common bicycle has become a high tech tool, with each portion of it engineered to the highest possible level of performance.

Riders now wear shoes with special lugs on the bottom, that can be locked into the pedals by twisting them into a matching socket.

Seats are contoured for fit, and made from sealed gel containers for optimum comfy squish.

Cyclists wear special pants, with a pad built into the crotch to augment the comfy squish of the seat.

Now to take it to the next level.

The cyclists pants will be constructed so that the entire seat is custom tailored to fit as part of the pants themselves, and a lug on the outside of the seat of the pants will swivel and lock onto the bicycle.

This will hold the cyclist firmly to the bike, and allow for maximum use of all muscle groups, allowing the cyclist to exert themselves fully without wasted energy.

normzone, Aug 18 2008

In the early stages of design, this test pilot / model is mounted to a guard rail http://www.loti.com...pedal%20pushers.jpg
[normzone, Aug 19 2008]

Research is underway - the goal is to replace safety belts in automobiles with this fashionable, more convenient alternative http://www.funky-ki...t-pedal-pushers.gif
[normzone, Aug 19 2008]


       Damn, I forgot to categorize this, and I see somebody has done this for me.   

       Thank you.
normzone, Aug 18 2008

       <contemplates amusing prospect of cyclist parting company with both bicycle and pants simultaneously during accident>
8th of 7, Aug 18 2008

       does my bun look big in this?
po, Aug 18 2008

       what [hegelstone] said.   

       Also, since I guess the bike just has a seatpost sticking up (with whatever coupler), better make sure you're wearing your seat-built-in shorts when you get on!   

       Speaking of one's buns, here you go [+]
bnip, Aug 18 2008

       Well, the skateboard wheel suit has been done, so the bicycle suit can't be too hard to accomplish. I would guess it would be something like the powered exoskeleton suits without the power.
normzone, Aug 18 2008

       It has to be easy to click into and out of, as there would still be advantages to standing on occasion, and you don't want to much extra effort if have put a foot down to stop at a light (and if you can put a leg down while still in the saddle, it's probably adjusted to low).   

       Another factor not mentioned in the post is that this would also act as an anti theft device. The difficulty in riding away a seatless bicycle would be one more layer of protection.   

       On the minus side, cyclists already get hassled enough about the dorky clothing.
MechE, Aug 19 2008

       Definitely specialization, not for the general hop on it and go cyclist .
wjt, Aug 19 2008

       //Definitely specialization, not for the general hop on it and go cyclist .// ...Nor for anyone concerned about his potential sperm count.
jurist, Aug 19 2008

       Shirley the next logical step will be handlebar gloves? Makes the bike even more thief proof but a bugger for signals, shaking hands, playing musical instruments etc.
Gordon Comstock, Aug 19 2008

       Interesting - I agree with [rcarty]'s 'resistance' point.
hippo, Aug 19 2008

       <obligatory Borg quote>   

       "Resitance is Futile"   

       </obligatory Borg quote>
8th of 7, Aug 19 2008

       I might be taken out and shot for being a heretic, but this idea immediately made me think of "pole pants".
Jinbish, Aug 19 2008

       <fx: cock crows>
<fx: volley of gunfire>
hippo, Aug 19 2008

Jinbish, Aug 19 2008

       Maybe we could just genetically engineer bicyclists in the future so their spines will be rigid and at an angle to their hips. Their arms and legs will each be fused into two single units, with a fork at the end of each to hold a wheel.
Noexit, Aug 19 2008

       Great ;idea. No more power stroking up steep hills.   

       el dueno
el dueno, Aug 19 2008

       Great idea. No more power stroking up steep hills. We could call it the wimpy rider attachment means.   

       el dueno
el dueno, Aug 19 2008

       Thing is, you can't stand up for extra power with these on. Unless you're suggesting by being fixed to the seat you can get more power than you can standing up and using all your weight on one foot and then the other. Which you won't. Unless you have thighs that are bigger than your torso. As in each thigh is, on its own, larger than your torso. In which case you look weird. And should live in a circus. May I suggest the unicycle? And a pointy hat with red and white swirls?
theleopard, Aug 19 2008

       Easily resolved. Pivot and unlatch the seat from the bike to stand. Sit down and latch in again when you're done standing.   

       I think the pointy hat would add some wind resistance.
normzone, Aug 19 2008

       Unless you can pull it down over your jaw like a beak, in which case it might improve your aerodynamism.
theleopard, Aug 19 2008

       Perhaps it would be wiser to design a sort of climbing harness to which the seat pole attaches, so that once you get to some place where sitting down is appropriate, you can remove the bicycle seat from your bum... unless you propose selling "Bike tube furniture" for the owners of these devices... Hmm...   

       Perhaps also, the swiveling lock may not prove to be so suitable, I'm not sure swiveling while pedaling would work very well.
ye_river_xiv, Aug 19 2008

       Well, you know what they say: Good enough for the feet, good enough for the seat.   

       One regularly sees cyclists clumping around in their specialized shoes. A cyclist perched, teetering ever so slightly on the latch seat of their Pedal Pushers (link) would not look out of place.   

       Besides, cyclists thrive on being stared at.
normzone, Aug 19 2008


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