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Dating Directory

A national dating directory
  (+2, -9)(+2, -9)
(+2, -9)
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Don't you just hate it when you see a chick (or guy) that you really want and you start talking to her and about two months later you find out, goddang it, she's going out with someone? And then--BAM!!--you find yourself in the "Friend Zone". If only there was a way to find out beforehand if a girl was going out with someone. Well, I have a proposal for such an idea. It's called the National Dating Status Directory. As soon as a girl (or guy) reaches high school she is registered in the directory as "Not going out with someone". When she does go out with someone, she is obliged to contact the Directory (by a number of ways: snail mail, phone, Internet, e-mail, IM, or SMS) and change her status. To make sure every American keeps their status up-to-date, there should be incentives, like CDs, money, etc. There would be a number of ways to find out about a person's status (see the methods I listed above). The management of the Directory would go somewhat like the Open Directory Project, except some people would be paid for the big jobs. And to make sure there aren't any sickos prowling for high school girls there would be two seperate directories, High-School and Adult, and you would have to be registered on that one to browse that one. Oh yeah, and in addition to dating status it would work somewhat like a personals ad, plus it would have listed the girl's (or guy's), um, attitudes toward sex, like if she's more likely to, you know. 'Cause that's something that I'm sure all guys want to know. Anyone have any questions or want to get this started e-mail me at themongoose_75@email.com.
HighSchoolMan, Sep 13 2001

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       It's *two months* before you find out they're going out with someone? Sheesh, you need to learn how to have conversations.
Lemon, Sep 13 2001

       Or better sex
thumbwax, Sep 13 2001

       And this needs to be centralized why?
jutta, Sep 14 2001

       Gee,why don't you ask her when you first talk to her if she is seeing someone?
h4xor, Sep 14 2001

       I'm still young enough--I understand HSM's frustration. Many girls of these times are pretty sneaky and often times evil, lying, deceptive, cheap, dirty whores I really really wanted to bang. The other ones only wanted to be "friends." High School politics at my school were much less complicated than what I assume they are like at HSM's, but nonetheless they existed. Ours were more along the lines of Nerdy Kids + Teachers = Happy, Everyone else + Nerdy Kids = Nerdy Kids Crying, Afro Assault + School = False, School - Lack of Girls Worth Talking to = Hunter High. Politics and Math, baby.
AfroAssault, Sep 15 2001

       How mundane, [HighSchoolBoy]. It's clear from your tortured words that you feel strongly about the subject but somewhat helpless, and this spikes your logic.   

       First of all, if I were contracted to design this system, I would recommend a very flat (in terms of organisational structure,) looking distributed system tacked onto the ones already in place to track your education from school-to-school. Like [jutta] hinted, there is no need for a national database. So long as information can be transferred from school-to-school. But this is all a waste of time because the idea in it's present state is flawed and boring.   

       The subtext of teenage politics is pivotal to this idea, and I sense that you somehow hope to strip away at these politics with this 'dating directory' gizmo. I think this is a false premise and this would just extend the political sphere of the playground to an information system.   

       Permit me to demonstrate by way of example. The 'dating directory' would have at least four pieces of information, sex (male | female), sexual orientation (straight | gay | bi), availability (available | not available), and attitude to sex (ranging from 'bring it on' to 'marriage is the blowtorch to my chastity belt'.) I envisage a combination of male hormones and pack-mentality incited hubris will prompt nearly *all* boys to answer male, straight, available, bring it on. Why? Because the existing political institutions in place- the same ones that make boys wear cargo pants and smack each others asses with towels in the change rooms- will the coerce information in this directory. I guess it is what your parents call peer pressure. Similarly, the girls who dress bad and have an attitude will answer 'bring it on', to the last question, and those at the other end of the political spectrum will feel they should be suitably adorned with iron underwear. This invention, in it's present state solves no problem.   

       Remove the element of choice, and at once you add a new dimension to the predicament. I suggest that you implant devices into the heads of high school kids, wired to their brains, that measure reactions to different stimuli; the word "fuck" for example. Eventually you, and presumably the CIA will have neat little packets of information about each future citizen.   

       This is superior to children just answering questions, yes or no. Another example; just because Britney has been, like, going steady with Brad for three whole months doesn't mean she's totally averse to the notion of leaving him for you [HighSchoolBoy]. Maybe Britney isn't even interested in Brad for anything but his parent's house in the Bahamas and, is quite prepared to help you fulfill your naughty schoolboy fantasies without poor Brad ever knowing, or ever needing to know. With neural implants, this information can be very detailed and up-to-the-minute.   

       Abstract this one step further and technology can be used to create a new school yard order. Once our attitudes and beliefs are mapped and stored on computers, these computers can group us together into cliques without the waste of time caused by the boring old processes of socialisation. Goths over here, meat heads over here, geeks over there. Orwell would be disturbed; if by nothing else, my use of the semicolon.
sdm, Sep 15 2001

       If a girl says she likes Mercedes, shes a spitter.
If a girl says she likes Harleys, she's a guzzler.
Mentors for Everyone
thumbwax, Sep 15 2001

       At the risk of taking the 1/2B to an apex of insensitivity not experienced since "Vagina Jam"; [thumbwax], who cares?
sdm, Sep 15 2001

       Everyone should use more semicolons; they're under(ab)used. (As are parentheses)
jabbers, Sep 15 2001

       It would have to be centralized, computerized, and limited to name, orientation, and availability. The attitudes thing is WAY too arbitrary, and would only serve to create 'romantic' interest for the wrong reasons.   

       sdm, as long as she's not spitting ON me, you're totally right.
Deity, Oct 02 2001

       What an apt name this poster has.
snarfyguy, Oct 02 2001

       K it would be nice to know whether someone was dating someone even for the fact if its someone who you are going out with who "forgot" to mention they were going out with someone as well. Unfortunately people have lost their sense of morals and its just part of life. Trials and errors. To get something like that together and MAKE people give the info would be impossible not to mention the amount of money it would take for surely not nearly enough return for it. It would go broke and crash immediately.
sunsetatdawn, Jun 01 2003


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