Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Relief at the press of a button
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If the human body is subjected to low-frequency sound waves (between 10.5 and 16 Hz), there is often an uncontrollable and instant urge to defecate. While the use of this 'brown noise' has been investigated for military and crowd control uses, I've not found any references to its use as an anti-constipation device.

A brief sounding of the defecat-o-mat should be enough to move the most stubborn bowel.

-alx, May 31 2001

(?) Sound weapon info http://www.einaudi....acousticweapons.pdf
Long analysis of sound weapons, in pdf format. Quick scan revealed only a brief mention of bowel stimulation. [Dog Ed, May 31 2001, last modified Oct 21 2004]

(?) Skeptical scientific study http://www.newscien...20/newsstory10.html
If you believe Jürgen Altmann, the Defecat-o-mat will never be yours [-alx, May 31 2001, last modified Oct 21 2004]


       -alx, do you have a link to a study of this sonic effect? I think this topic has been broached before in re another application.
Dog Ed, May 31 2001

       Most of the links I've found have been by paranoid conspiracy theorists. Also, the only study I could find suggests this idea may be a non-starter...
-alx, May 31 2001

       I've been to more than one drum'n'bass night when the clientele are coked up to the eyeballs and I've nearly shat myself on walking in.
-alx, May 31 2001

-alx, May 31 2001

       Do I see the Whoopee Cushion of the new millennium taking shape?
ejs, May 31 2001

       waugsqueke! lol. Vibro Poop doesn't even come close. I've noticed during periods of bowel distress (long backpacking trip, freeze-dried "food") it feels as if the colon itself is producing huge subsonic rumbles. If you don't rely on air transmission then power needed to produce the effect drop *way* down too.
Dog Ed, May 31 2001

       Someone besides me hears that, then?
reensure, May 31 2001

       As I was reading this I suddenly had to go to the bathroom. Maybe just talking about it works?
AfroAssault, Jun 01 2001

       Mephista--what's so crude about this? It strikes me as less "offensive" than an enema, and certainly far more comfortable... if it could be "baked" into a small, discreet, plug-into-the wall unit somehow and kept in the powder room, I certainly think it'd be more than useful.
Urania, Nov 18 2001

       [Mephista]: It's only a joke and not at all offensive, as with many of the things on this glorious HalfBakery (not least my Kamikaze Ejector Seat) - inventors post their anal compulsive machines here for the exact reason that they are so ridiculous no-one else will listen to them.
NickTheGreat, May 30 2002


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