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Defenestration A.I.

Detects Bodies Being Thrown Out The Window
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Occasionally, one feels the overwhelming urge to throw someone out the window. In these times of Triple-Paned Argon-Filled windows, this can seriously injure the object of your wrath *INSIDE* your domicile, thus creating the potential to raise your insurance rates and leave you open to annoying lawsuits!

Worry no more! GROGco presents the window A.I. smart enough to open quickly to 1) Allow "foreign bodies" to quickly pass and continue their likely plummet to the sidewalk (or rose garden) below, and 2) Give you the Tort-Free life you so utterly fail to deserve!

BUTT WEIGHT!! THERE'S MORE!! GROGco Defenestration A.I. may also be configured to recognize Fido's Tennis Ball (close rapidly?) or Fluffy's Laser Pointer light (open rapidly?), depending on your particular disposition toward either pet.

Batteries Sold Separately.

Grogster, Nov 29 2018

"All your base-pair are belong to us" http://weknowmemes....erator/meme/228445/
Stick THAT on the front of your T-shirt ... [8th of 7, Nov 29 2018]

[link]






       This is the product I've been waiting my whole life for. I liked it even better with the typo.   

       Re. the Fido's Tennis Ball recognition, the trick surely would be to open the window very briefly to let the ball through, then close it sharply to produce the satisfying dog/window "thunk" sound. If you need some test subjects, I believe that [8th] has ShitZus, which are similar to dogs but cause less heartache if things go wrong.
MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 29 2018
  

       Your very Configuration Wish is My Command, My Dear English Deep-Pocketed Friend!   

       <...here's GROG re-writing his Marketing Plan...>
Grogster, Nov 29 2018
  

       Can it be programmed to open and then quickly slam shut again when a bunch of [MB]'s irreplaceable biological samples are hurled window-wards ?
8th of 7, Nov 29 2018
  

       //Detects Bodies Being Thrown Out The Window//   

       "Detects" ?
FlyingToaster, Nov 29 2018
  

       //irreplaceable biological samples // Everything I have is cloned.
MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 29 2018
  

       "All your base-pair are belong to us".   

       <link> specially for [xen].
8th of 7, Nov 29 2018
  

       //... [MB]'s irreplaceable biological samples... //   

       The A.I. can be configured for Moles -- but be ready for it's *Hearty Laughter* circuits to kick in.
Grogster, Nov 30 2018
  

       <wonders if crossbreeding Moles with Tribbles would produce a large crate of suitable Christmas gifts for [MB]/>
8th of 7, Nov 30 2018
  

       Recent experiments have shown that a deceased mole acts as an absolutely superb wadding in a mortar. They are practically cylindrical anyway and, if loaded in the right orientation, their fur has remarkably low friction.
MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 30 2018
  

       How many moles is a butt-weight?
RayfordSteele, Nov 30 2018
  

       Talk about a window of opportunity - it panes me to think of missing it.
normzone, Nov 30 2018
  
      
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