Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Dentist office sign language chart

So you can communicate with more than "Ummm" or "##&%%¤!".
  (+16, -1)(+16, -1)
(+16, -1)
  [vote for,

A chart with some of the most frequently needed words, accompanied by sign language for the deaf illustrations, is needed on the ceiling above the dentist chair. When asked if that hurt or where did you spend your vacation, the patient, mouth full of hardware, can respond with his/her hands.
FarmerJohn, Mar 19 2002

Virtual keyboard http://www.vkb.co.il/home.html
[Stubbs] link. [bristolz, Mar 21 2002, last modified Oct 21 2004]

Glove That Speaks Volumes -- Sign Language Glove http://www.wired.co...,1452,49716,00.html
"Eighteen-year-old Ryan Patterson designed a sign language translator glove that works by sensing the hand movements of the sign language alphabet . . ." [bristolz, Mar 21 2002, last modified Oct 21 2004]


       Nice idea.
My (Californian) dentist: "So, are Everything But The Girl pretty popular in England then?"
Me: "Hgnnnyy"
hippo, Mar 19 2002

       Perhaps some S&M outfits for the staff while you're at it.
thumbwax, Mar 19 2002

       Not sure I want the dentist looking at my hands.   

       How about a key pad for your right hand, quick reference buttons just for 'Yes", 'No', 'OW!', etc. They could make appropriate sounds when pushed.
rbl, Mar 19 2002

       Don't forget the "Nice weather we're having, isn't it?" button.
stupop, Mar 19 2002

       or the, "could you go brush your teeth please" button
rbl, Mar 19 2002

       If the dentist would just look at the tears in your eyes he/she can easily assess that something does indeed hurts. If he/she asked questions while your mouth is full of hardware and whatever, then don't be rude. Kindly remove the hardware and junk from your mouth and have the dentist hold the stuff while you politely answer the question(s).
gsamaritan, Mar 19 2002

       I wish he wouldn't use my chest as a little ledge for his stuff. that really ..... annoys me.
po, Mar 19 2002

       Concurring with hippo, this is nice. Funny, too.   

       [po]: Hah! At least you have enough for a tool platform . . . some of us aren't so lucky.
bristolz, Mar 19 2002

       said *little* ledge, bris
po, Mar 19 2002

       I warned him, you hurt me and I BITE. it works.
po, Mar 19 2002

       I prefer the headphones approach. Convey the "I don't want to talk" attitude and avoid being stuck with the radio commercials of choice.   

       You can even make soundtracks for your dental work. "It's the end of the world as we know it..." Hey, it beats "BUD -- WEIS -- ER."
ickle me, Mar 20 2002

       Fortunately for me, my dentist has the uncanny ability to translate even the most remote-sounding gargling noises produced by dental instruments being shoved into one's mouth. My guess is that he spent some time in Louisiana.
Pseudonym #3, Mar 20 2002

       What about translating sign language into audio? The person who can't speak uses sign language while wearing a glove that detects the movements (or better still, a wearble keyboard -type device [admin: see link -- bristolz] ) and translates them to code - a wearable computer translates the movements and decodes them into a sound processor (kinda like what you can do on a Mac)... and voila, the signer can be "heard" by others via a tiny speaker. Plus the voice could be chosen, modified, and/or customized by the owner.
Stubbs, Mar 21 2002

       I like it, though I imagine sadistic dentists might leave off translations for "please stop" and "that hurts" and instead stock the cards with "thank you may I have another" and "no thanks, I don't want any more novacaine."
TheJeff, Jul 08 2004

       This sounds easy until you try to do it. I took a sign language course once, and it was a vexing as trying to get my tongue around those French syllables. My hands seemed stiff and stupid. It might be better to have a pad with buttons for "ouch", and "get off my chest."
ldischler, Jul 08 2004

       Jeff, considering how much you hate FJ "spamming (his) crappy ideas all over the halfbakery", you seem to be offering an awful lot of positive anno's.
Are you starting to feel a little guilty?
MikeOliver, Jul 08 2004

       No, just giving him a fair shake. As you can see, out of the approximately 5,468 ideas he's submitted, I've found a handful of good ones.   

       I thought that by maybe pointing out the ones that actually work, I might help him out a bit.
TheJeff, Jul 08 2004

       Well, out of the 5,468 ideas he has posted, only 47 of them have recieved more bones than buns.
So approximately 99.14% of his ideas are liked by the rest of the bakery...
I can work out your ratio for you if you like Jeff!

       A quick calculation reveals 3 buns to 4 bones, or 42.8% approval!
MikeOliver, Jul 08 2004

       I'd rather go for [po]'s savage-threat--bewildering--scheme. I always warn against friendly remarks and politenes when directed twards dentists. the bite-threat is just right
sweet, Jul 08 2004

       If not sign language, how about a mime language poster?
moPuddin, Jul 08 2004

       Use a Stephen Hawkins dental chair.
The problem is, that you would probably have to work in some strange vocabulary, such as Universe, Black hole, Unification theory and so on.

Dentist: "So Ling, what do you think about the weather?"
Me: "Like a Black Hole in this part of the Universe. The Event Horizon looks a little Quarky".
Dentist: "I'm sorry, I don't understand a word you are saying".
Ling, Jul 10 2004


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