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Dobson Raptometer

Device to Monitor Progress of the Rapture
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Somewhat unhopeful of being chosen for eternal salvation, I would like a device that would warn me of the Rapture in progress. If nothing else, I would be able to slack off work, knowing that nothing would really matter anymore. My idea is to implant an altimeter and transceiver in the Reverend James Dobson of the Family Values Institute. I believe Dobson would be agreeable, as he thinks he will be one of the first chosen during the Great Event. As he is taken aloft, the altimeter would broadcast his ascension to anyone who subscribes to, say, a "Rapturecast." We'd have to build-in something to filter out his commercial jet flights, etc., but I'd feel a lot better knowing where he is altitudinally during these Last Days.
alcatraz, Oct 06 2005

Halfbakery (way back): Tie Me To A Christian http://web.archive....0To_20A_20Christian
[jutta, Oct 08 2005]

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       What if he was abducted by aliens, how would your little device know the diffence? I would hate to have a false reading on something as important as this.
dogzapper, Oct 07 2005
  

       //What if he was abducted by aliens// Well, obviously there'd be a cut-off switch up his ass, which we all know is the first place they'd probe.
coprocephalous, Oct 07 2005
  

       Dr. James Dobson is a psychologist, not a Reverend. He has been criticised for preaching without credentials.
dentworth, Oct 07 2005
  

       Is there some quote I can read where Dobson says that "he thinks he will be one of the first chosen"?   

       What "credentials" is one required to have in order to speak about their beliefs and what governing body sets this requirement and is therefore presumably qualified to criticize on that basis?
half, Oct 07 2005
  

       any who don't agree, [half]. It's one of the great ironies of the Christian community. so much division.
dentworth, Oct 07 2005
  

       Wouldn't it just be simpler to put some motion detectors around cemeteries?
AbsintheWithoutLeave, Oct 07 2005
  

       Dobson is head of Focus on the Family, an organization based in my old hometown of Colorado Springs. I call myself a Christian, but still think he's a nutball. Some people like him though. The organization is really more of a political group than a religious one, meant to spread ultra-conservative Christian political views through a weekly radio show among other media.
discontinuuity, Oct 07 2005
  

       "Dobson is head of Focus on the Family, an organization based in my old hometown of Colorado Springs . . . [the] organization is really more of a political group than a religious one, meant to spread ultra-conservative Christian political views through a weekly radio show among other media."   

       [rasberry]: Ultra-conservative Christians think furries and D&D players are among the greatest threats to our nation's security?
Almafeta, Oct 07 2005
  

       I miss that Tie Me To A Christian idea, with its physical calculations and spiritual schemings. That was a fun one to read. I am not sure how to find stuff with the wayback machine - would someone link that one up?
bungston, Oct 07 2005
  

       yeah what bung said.
po, Oct 07 2005
  


 

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