Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Yeah, I wish it made more sense too.

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Docterminator: A Serious Shredder

Reconstruct this document, pal!
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Destroying documents, safely and securely, is big business. This is because doing it properly is more difficult than it sounds, especially now that we store them all on computer storage media, as well as paper.

The new UBCo Docterminator is what you really want.

A puddle of rhenium, encased in a tantalum hafnium carbide retort and kept just above melting point can be installed in a well-insulated cubicle in your office, for a fee of course. Yes, there will be an ongoing cost to run the electric arc furnace we'll have to install with it.

Then, when you want to "lose" a document; Destroy that unfortunate Xmas party photocopy of your buttocks; Trash an entire file on your former workmate who's now your manager; Wipe a hard drive from the face of the earth or just reheat your cold coffee in less than a second, the Docterminator is for you.

It won't be back. Honest.

UnaBubba, Jun 21 2012

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       Can it be shaped like a Dalek?
8th of 7, Jun 21 2012
  

       Am I the only halfbaker who thinks that daleks are frankly lame?
RayfordSteele, Jun 21 2012
  

       Nope.   

       However, I could go for a Dalek turned upside down, so it looks like a weird wastepaper basket.
UnaBubba, Jun 21 2012
  

       How magmanimous they would seem to be, installing such a thing.
UnaBubba, Jun 21 2012
  
      
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