Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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It might be better to just get another gerbil.

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Dog De-Stimulator

Allows TV watching in peace while your frisky pet calms himself down
  (+7, -1)
(+7, -1)
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I have a Springer Spaniel pup who, at 6 months, cannot distinguish a female canine from bags of chips, my PC, and various visitors to my humble abode.

This is unfortunate to say the least. However, the problem relieved itself on catching him de-stimulating with the use of a toy stuffed bear.

This is surely an opportunity for a more specific product. For example, a model female Springer Spaniel which had a temptress bark and growl module would surely be appreciated.

How about different species of dog to combat this hair-raising problem across the board?

iain2, Apr 30 2001

Hotdoll, the Sex Doll for Dogs http://gizmodo.com/...for-dogs-253334.php
Designer's sketch at feeladdicted.com behind a hideous flash intro; so I'm linking to the gizmodo shots. [jutta, May 17 2007]


       how about a robot boar ?
macm, Apr 30 2001

       I have just seen the entry for Pet Sex Toys; however, I am suggesting a plastic eroticised dog, so it's a bit more specific.
iain2, Apr 30 2001

       Why not do it the old-fashioned way- Use a whip. Show 'em who the bitch is. Dogs way dig Leather and Chains, so get some Black Leather S & M Outfits for Fido while you're at it
thumbwax, Apr 30 2001

       Aaah, so. A springer spaniel pup. You have my condolences. Exercise is a good thing (dogs have endorphins too), but you already knew that. You probably also know the Alpha Dog Rollover, but I'll mention it anyway: knock the puppy down and pin him with a hand on the neck, while making your favorite I'm-very-annoyed-with-you sound.   

       [After brief interruption by wife]: Anyway, the A-Dog Rollover, used sparingly, might cool your pup's juices at critical times. As far as a particular dog love-toy, build it and he will come. Or not. I know of no established precedent.
Dog Ed, Apr 30 2001

       Why is this still a problem? I thought we already established a cure for this behaviour? Force-feeding the dog a lemon?
macm, May 01 2001

       hold puppy by back legs with head and body in a burlap sack...take clean razor blade and make two incisions above the two little bumps, pop the "bumps" out through the incisions and cut ligament attached to "bumps", drop "bumps" into waste can, douse the area in Betadine....let the doggie go..... oh, wait, that's how we do male piglets...... call your vet.
Susen, May 02 2001

       Hideous, Susen. Dreadful. Stomach-churning. No words describe my aversion. **Clinging tightly to manhood area***
globaltourniquet, May 02 2001

       Use a rubberband.
thumbwax, May 02 2001

       Forgodsakes have the vet do it. Your dog would never forgive you an unanesthesized castration.   

       Overheard, apropos of a spaniel puppy: "If you can make it through the first two years without killing him then he'll be a great dog."
Dog Ed, May 02 2001

       globaltourniquet: thank god you've never come across the practice of 'libbing' lambs. Its much the same as susen describes it for pigs, only done without the burlap sack, the razor blade, the waste can, the Betadine. Oh yes, and its traditionally done with the shepherds teeth.
mcscotland, May 02 2001

       We use our teeth with the lambs but I suspect not because it was more sanitary or practical but because it looked a lot more rugged and manly, even for the women. It also allows you to put together a list of things you would rather never do again.
RobGraham, May 02 2001

       ah....Scotland....where men are men and the sheep are scared......
Susen, May 02 2001

       Trade Dog in for Cat.
Ivy, May 04 2001

       I think that was the point of the original idea, much like 'Pet sex toy'.
StarChaser, May 05 2001

       Just get your pooch a PARTNER
Sparki, Aug 10 2001

       sell fido to a adult film company that does doggylove or horselove videos and your problem will be solved. no more humping and afew dollars in your pocket.
chupacabra, Jan 28 2002

       Wow i don't wanna even touch this with a ten foot pole.......or in Rover's case a ten inch wang. It's just not right.....
robbie the rocker, Dec 22 2005


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