Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Domesticated attack skunks

For old ladies and the like.
  (+6, -2)
(+6, -2)
  [vote for,

Having your own attack skunk especially trained to guard your home from would be intruders. Skunks are also small enough to fit in a hand bag, a nasty supprise for any bag snatchers.
Gulherme, Sep 04 2002

Skunk FAQs http://www.accs.net...whyden/skunkfaq.htm
"Domestic skunks are descented at about 4 weeks of age". Doesn't say how. [angel, Sep 04 2002, last modified Oct 21 2004]

Licence-free www.defra.gov.uk/wi...ide/gwd/wildact.htm
Skunks are legal in the UK ..... [8th of 7, Sep 04 2002]

Licence-free www.defra.gov.uk/wi...ide/gwd/wildact.htm
Skunks are legal in the UK ..... [8th of 7, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]


       I keep reading this as 'Domesticated attack skulls', which might be effective at keeping away intruders - especially if they're genuine human ones.
-alx, Sep 04 2002

       I feel your pain about typos that never were. I'm still pining for the Air-Conditioned Wedding Helmet.
General Washington, Sep 04 2002

       This is a neat idea. Skunks would munch up garden pests and food scraps. They're small and quiet. Don't know what you'd need in the way of fencing, though.   

       Training might be interesting. What about postmen ?   

       <aside> "Air-Conditioned Wedding Helmet."... very surreal .... possibly useful..... </aside>
8th of 7, Sep 04 2002

       perhaps you could train your skunk with a whistle?
aphidman, Sep 04 2002

       From my link: "Skunks will come when they're called----if they want to ---- or if you make a noise related to food! Refrigerator doors, can openers and microwaves make excellent 'skunkcalls'!"
angel, Sep 04 2002

       Come on angel, you got to be kidding! make sounds like food? I'm gonna go out in the woods and make a carrot stick noise. Nononono, I'm gonna go out and make a loud lettuce rustle to try to peak some intrest in those pesky skunks. Oh wait, you said food related noises, that kinda punctures my bubble 'o fun. So, what do you call them to make them come?
barnzenen, Sep 04 2002

       "oh baby" (or some derivative of that) is an old favourite, barnz.
lewisgirl, Sep 04 2002

       <drum-roll><cymbal crash>
Guy Fox, Sep 04 2002

       Are you looking for a book of skunk chat-up lines?   

       "Do you smell here often?"
pottedstu, Sep 04 2002

       Isn't there a "Loony Tunes" cartoon series about an amorous skunk called Pepe something ? Like Road Runner ?   

       Gulherme: I think you've also hit on another interesting point. Things like pepper spray, CS and MACE are illegal for cililians in many jurisdictiosn - they're classed as "offensive weapons". BUT a trained Skunk is a natural, environmentally friendly, wholesome alternative. In the UK we have the Dangerous Wild Animals Act - but I don't see how a Skunk could be viewed as dangerous, just potentially very unpleasant. One might have second thoughts about carrying a spitting cobra in one's handbag, or trouser pocket, but a skunk ? Also, an easy way of "marking" offenders for later detection ..... he's the one noone will go near.   

       "Stand back ! I've got a loaded skunk and I'm not afraid to use it !"   

       "Jimmy, this is the Police. You're surrounded. Just put the skunk down and come out with your fingers up your nostrils.... "   

       What species are they, anyway ? Are they Mustillidae, like ferrets and badgers ? Ferrets are pretty tame and trainable .....
8th of 7, Sep 04 2002

       Pepe Le Peu a common thread through most of his cartoons was that a black cat somehow got a white stripe and the skunk would chase the cat all through town. At the end of the cartoon the skunk's smell would be gone (usually perfume) and the cat would chase him. Ah, memories...
barnzenen, Sep 04 2002

       The spotted skunk is Spilogale putorius, and the striped skunk is Mephitis mephitis (no comment). Ferrets and such are Mustelidae, and the badger is Taxidae taxus.
angel, Sep 04 2002

       lol. Yeah, I was always amazed at how often a black cat managed to accidentally get a perfect white stripe down its back in that cartoon. I second your nostalgic sigh.
sild, Sep 04 2002

       Yes, the combination of skunks and "old ladies" in the title / gloss for this idea does rather conjure up images of Pepe Le Peu and Tweety Pie's sweet old lady owner:   

       Old lady: "You stay away from my Tweety, you nasty cat." <pulls Pepe Le Peu out of handbag> Pepe: "Oh, mon cherie!"
Guy Fox, Sep 04 2002

       Why not just sew the skunks scent gland onto your dogs vocal chords. When he barks at a stranger he will douse him with skunk scent.
jvanzand, Jun 17 2003

       Say hello to my stinky lil friend.   


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