Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Drinks Whistle

drinking straw whistle
  (+4, -1)
(+4, -1)
  [vote for,

Now that plastic straws are thankfully largely a thing of the past, several alternatives have taken their place. One alternative is a sort of telescopic metal tube that comes complete with a wire brush to clean it after use, all carried around in a special container.

This seems like an elaborate arrangement for such a basic task, so I have decided to add another function to the straw to more fully justify its existence. The extra function here is that of a tin whistle.

In order to use your metal straw as a whistle, you grip it at one end then twist it a half rotation in an anticlockwise direction. This action reveals a set of finger holes along one side that were previously covered by the protective water-tight rotating sleeve arrangement. You then screw on the reed end that comes in the container and you're all set to begin playing your diminutive tin whistle.

The tin whistle is a very basic musical device at the best of times, but being extremely narrow results in the generation of a distinctive sound unique to the instrument. Restaurants are encouraged to provide free drinks for those who's playing is adept enough to entertain the other customers (on request).

xenzag, Jan 17 2020


       I suspect that this would be annoyingly high-pitched unless inconveniently long.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 17 2020

       Connect it to a bag for extra fun
pocmloc, Jan 17 2020

       Not just bagpipes, but extremely high-pitched bagpipes - what's not to like?
MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 17 2020

       A randomly chosen length given with each drink. Collect the whole bagpipe!
Voice, Jan 17 2020

       // annoyingly high-pitched .... bagpipes //   

       Instead of a reed, why not have a sharp point so you can stab your own eardrums ?   

       [-] ghastly high-pitched amateur noise-making.
8th of 7, Jan 17 2020

       Perfect for you then to harmonise with and make a little orchestra. Ha
xenzag, Jan 17 2020

       If it had sprung-closed keys instead of open fingerholes, then it could be used as a straw without needing the sealing mechanism described. Also the keys could be actuated by long shafts, meaning the pipe could be made arbitrarily long (open finger hole whistles are length restricted by human finger spread limits).   

       This would require a nonstandard fingering   

       There is an upper length limit given by atmospheric pressure and drink density for straw use, but a contrabass pipe longer than that could have an angled foot joint to allow diagonal suctioning.
pocmloc, Jan 17 2020

       //Perfect for you then to harmonise with// Ah, *now* it makes sense - a harmonising swarm, of course.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 17 2020

       We've never tried singing Barbershop.   


       Be afraid. Be very afraid.   

       <Downloads lyrics for "In The Good Ol' Summer Time/>
8th of 7, Jan 18 2020


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