Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Duck Bill Warmers

Speculums for the nether regions.
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Nobody likes cold icy metal in their nether regions. (well most don't) So why not make speculums out of a hard rubber product that can be heated to body temperature. I don't think you would want electric heated speculums but something that could be maybe heated in a microwave or large vat of water. And while were at it, why not a vid screen attached to the ceiling playing nice relaxing images and sounds to lull you into a sense of well being.
lazloquezos, Oct 18 2002

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       This *could* have been furry balaclava-type things for duck's heads, or a command given to Bill Warmers (Hi, Bill), or even something made from essence of duck that warms US dollar bills.   

       But no, //why not make speculums out of a hard rubber product that can be heated to body temperature//. Or, indeed, why not heat the metal so it's warmer? Oh boy, what a wasted opportunity.
PeterSilly, Oct 18 2002
  

       <pedant> Specula </pedant>   

       Sorry - sometimes I just can't help myself.
whimsickle, Oct 18 2002
  

       PeterSilly- Well if I titled it speculum warmer, who on earth would want to read it?
lazloquezos, Oct 18 2002
  

       This meme is veering decidedly into "more information than we ever wanted to know" region.
DrCurry, Oct 18 2002
  

       Amen, Doctor. Another one of those "Oh dear, I wish I'd never looked at this" ideas. I too thought it was some sort of welfare device for Mallards .... too late, I realised my mistake.   

       I'm sure it would be appreciated by those who are affected by the problem, but for the rest of us, ignorance is bliss.
8th of 7, Oct 18 2002
  

       //Well if I titled it speculum warmer, who on earth would want to read it?// - not my problem. You had the idea. You would be surprised at what some people will read. At best, the title is somewhat misleading, although I can see where you get the reference to duck bills from.
PeterSilly, Oct 18 2002
  

       Funny... all these comments from those who will never need this product. From what I understand, cold 'specula' are quite an issue, and one worth resolving.   

       Does this mean that "Dracula" is the plural of "Draculum?"
waugsqueke, Oct 18 2002
  

       No 8th, ignorance is not bliss.   

       And [waugs], ever since women started becoming gyns, this has not been a problem. They warm the metal ones to body temp in a bun warmer, so to speak. And the men doctors who don't quite get it, warm their specs under running tap water. It really is not new, or certainly rocket science. If your doc doesn't care enough about you to warm the spec, and/or in addition warm your paper gown, you need to change physicians..soon.
blissmiss, Oct 18 2002
  

       //Does this mean that "Dracula" is the plural of "Draculum?"//   

       Depends on the count.
whimsickle, Oct 21 2002
  

       // warm their specs under running tap water //   

       Is that to help stop their glasses from steaming up ?   

       // bun warmer //   

       What sort of apparatus are we talking about here, exactly ? I ask merely for information ......   

       More and more, I wish that I'd NEVER looked at this idea ..... sometimes they just have a horrid fascination .....
8th of 7, Oct 21 2002
  

       Maybe a little gyno tour is what you need 8th. A kind of "get to know the man behind the scenes" type visit. That way your curiosity will be sated.
blissmiss, Oct 21 2002
  
      
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