Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
(Serving suggestion.)

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Forehortened Ilhouette Ole

for a finer figure
  (+5, -6)
(+5, -6)
  [vote for,

- Sole Brothers, how may we help you?
- I need help with my forehortened ilhouette ole.
- Your forehortened ilhouette ole?
- My forehortened ilhouette ole. Orry, I can’t ay the letter “ ”.
- Oh, your Foreshortened Silhouette Sole. Have you read the instructions?
- But, I can’t read Finnih, Japanee or Erbo-Croatian.
- Uh huh, well, what’s the problem?
- I undertand the theory that the ilhouette ole the ize of one’ foot tuck to a hoe at leg’ length een a foot away jut obcure a perfect body but doen’t cover an overweight or out-of-hape body howing thoe lump and bump that need reduction.
- Yes?
- It doen’t work. The ole ilhouette doen’t cover my forehortened toro at all.
- Is the sole the right size?
- Ye, 10 œ D.
- Is it the right gender?
- Ure, it’ “mucular male”.
- And your body check was done a foot away by a buddy?
- Uh, no, ‘caue of my athlete’ foot. I looked in a mirror, intead.
- There you go. That won’t work. You’ve got to find a pal with a cold or use a camera. Good Luck!
- Thank, bye.
FarmerJohn, Jun 17 2005


       Thi idea i a hit.
AbsintheWithoutLeave, Jun 17 2005

       "I uzed to have the zame problem, until I met zome people who zuggezted I zimply replace my ezzez with zedz!"
zen_tom, Jun 17 2005

       You don't say, sen_tom.
FarmerJohn, Jun 17 2005

       Yez, exactly! Well, almozt - actually, I alzo have a zecondary affliction that cauzez me to occazionally zubztitute entire zyllablez with other zyllablez, my actual name iz bag_jam.   

       Damn! It did it again!
zen_tom, Jun 17 2005

       ZOZZOJOZ (Wallz)
spiritualized, Jun 17 2005

       [Pa`ve] The silhouette sole the size of one’s foot stuck to a shoe at leg’s length seen a foot away just obscures a perfect [foreshortened] body but doesn’t cover an overweight or out-of-shape [foreshortened] body showing those lumps and bumps that need reduction.
FarmerJohn, Jun 17 2005

       Ummm.... FJ, you've lost me completely?   

       Me: Thith ith jutht and eckcuth to act like Igor, thur. I think that I am abtholutely correct on thith pothithion.   

       FJ: That ith right thur! We R Igorth, jutht like it thayth on the card, thur!
DesertFox, Jun 18 2005

       how very strange. +
benfrost, Jun 19 2005


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