h a l f b a k e r y
Replace "light" with "sausages" and this may work...
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As we have seen in the 2004 baseball playoffs one of the highest paid professions in the world, pitching baseballs, runs the risk of having the star pitcher get frustrated and break his needed hands punching walls, phones, or other items. This happened both to the Yankees Kevin Brown and the Cardinals
Apparently having broken your hand once before while punching a wall is insufficient deterrent. Brown punched a wall with his catching hand this year because he had learned his lesson punching a wall with his pitching hand.
The solution is to fully stock dugouts with plush toys designed to attract pitchers shaped like interesting things like walls, umpires, opposing players, or telephones. They could save millions of dollars for teams and players!
||This is no way to teach these people. I suggest that the walls of the dugouts be festooned with glass-paper encrused mantraps and landmines. This would have the positive side effect of making baseball interesting to people outside N America & Japan, thus increasing revenues.
||Market [calum]'s idea for the main seating area too, just to hear the commentator say:
...And the stadium explodes!"
||George Carlin once suggested a way to jazz up baseball: randomly placed land mines in the outfield.