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a warm handbowl of encouragement for the Stage Frightened
There is a problem with public restrooms, particularly with
"Rest Areas" where you pull over from the freeway with the
knowledge that you're going to have to pee in an hour but the
next bathroom is an hour and a half away. Or, for the menfolk
at least (I can't vouch for the ladies) you are standing
urinal and there's a long line of menacing roadies for Merl
Haggert or something standing right behind you clearing their
throat and boring holes into the back of your neck with their
piggy little eyes. Either way, it would be best for all
concerned if you could let rip right then and then be on your
way, but instead you sit there in what is most likely a very
smelly location far longer than you can hold your breath.
My solution is a little hand bowl mounted within easy reach of
the porcelain fixture in question which recirculates filtered,
disinfected and lightly scented warm water. You dip your
hand in the little bowl, and you will get the almost-
uncontrollable urge to pee whether you have to go or not! As
an added bonus, the sanitizing properties of the E-Z Pee will
also provide for the flush hand being sanitary, reducing the
"flush with the foot because I don't know where the handle
has been" reaction that you sometimes get in public
bathrooms. Finally, the scent of the bathroom would be much
improved by a faint hint of Lavender, Vanilla, or Sage. Maybe
it could supplant the sink as well, who knows.
In terms of making it cost effective for more institutional
bathrooms, I suppose that the water could come from the tap
and be heated on the roof via solar heaters and used to help
flush the toilet each time so as to provide fresh water to each
user, thereby saving on filtering and scents, but I think the
sanitized version would work better as it would probably use a
lot less energy for heating.
[po, Oct 17 2004]
||Interesting and useful, for the most part. And yes, women get peeing stage fright when there's a long line outside the stalls, too. Anyway, I'd probably still flush with the foot, even if the handle has been disinfected.
||Not nearly as frightening as the title suggests.
||[Machiavelli]: I guessed that might be the case, as I have
felt the akwardness in a stall once or twice. However the
worst by far was when I was doing study abroad in Ghana,
west Africa some years back. The group had spent 4
hours or so in a hot van jouncing over potted dirt roads
when we finally arrived at a very small town to take on
gas and relieve ourselves. I was distressed to see that
the men's restroom was actually a cinderblock wall facing
the street perhaps 6 feet wide by maybe 4 feet high. I'm
about 6'4" and white, a double rarity in Ghana. I have a
rather unpleasant memory of having my pecker in one
hand and waving with the other while excited villagers
shouted "Bruni!" and "Hello white man!" at me. If my
bladder hadn't been on the point of bursting anyway it
might not have worked out so well.
||Cigarrettes I have never tried, but I have tried booze. Or
coffee. Or booze in my coffee. The scent was more for
aesthetics than inducement, however. Plus, I still haven't
decided if having only one scented hand would be creepy.
||[Voltmeter], your story...hilarious! I'm still laughing.
||[Bach], eucalyptus might be the ticket. Good thinking. And maybe there can be a woman saying in a soft, relaxing voice, "Inhale deeply and slowly. Exhale with a whoooosh!" On second thought, maybe breathing deeply in a public restroom might not be such a good idea.
||I thought that having your hand in warm water only made you pee when you are asleap. This is usually done as a practical joke (place the sleeper's hand in water and run away giggling).
||If this had the same effect when awake it would make washing up the dishes a tricky proposition indeed!
||They use a warm pan of water to get the bedridden to
pee in hospitals. My uncle told me this, as he was pretty
messed up (forgot why, surgery or something) so that he
couldn't make it to the bathroom. He had to pee with a
nurse holding his bedpan and he couldn't until she got
him a nice warm handbath.