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Tribal Restroom Protocol
  (+26, -1)(+26, -1)(+26, -1)
(+26, -1)
  [vote for,

People's GI tracks are unpredictable, and when it's time to "GO" the embarrassment of letting nature take its course is something that many would rather not have to deal with - especially in a public restroom.

With a little help from a certified sound system, I propose having Australian Didgeridoo music piped thought the entire restroom at about 85dB sound level. This would essentially mask out all of nature's sounds and would allow people to doo their business with dignity - and contribute to the sound stage at the same time.

Entering the public restroom will now be a ritualistic-tribal event that brings the individual to a new state of self actualization.

proee, Feb 09 2007

Brown note http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brown_note
[calum, Feb 09 2007]

What is a Didgeridoo? http://www.andygrah...t/thedidgeridoo.htm
[phundug, Feb 10 2007]

Didgeradoo Loops http://www.tradebit.../9003/didg-samp.mp3
[nomocrow, Feb 13 2007]


       this is a terrific idea. what better way to symbolize the ritual of returning to mother earth that which we have taken from her. [+]
lilsis, Feb 09 2007

       no self respecting Aborigine would be alright with this methinks...
samosa_pirate, Feb 09 2007

       You have no idea just how much I would appreciate this (+).   

       (Erk - me thinks me said to much...)
Jinbish, Feb 09 2007

       If the frequencies were tuned and db level raised to a high enough energy, the resultant reverberations may be able to actually *assist* one in one's restroom activities.
zen_tom, Feb 09 2007

       The brown noise!
calum, Feb 09 2007

       I have tried to play my didgeridoo in a restroom a few times. The acoustics are great, but I'm usually afraid to inhale. When it works, it's fairly funny. [+]
baconbrain, Feb 09 2007

       Sometimes it's best if you didgeridon't.
lostdog, Feb 09 2007

       Tie me kangaroo down. Spurt.
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 09 2007

       In Japan, women's bathrooms regularly have devices designed to simulate the sound of s continually flushing toilet, for much the same reason.
gisho, Feb 10 2007

       I like...
po, Feb 10 2007

       Could one not use a recording of people crapping to spare the blushes of a didgeridoo player?
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 10 2007

       One can't help but think that [baconbrain] probably has some very interesting untold stories.
hidden truths, Feb 12 2007

       I think [Maxwell] is on to something. If sounds of flatulence, defacation, farting and red-faced grunting were randomly played, you could happily make as much noise as you liked without embarassment because no one would be able to differentiate your sounds from the automatically-generated ones.
hippo, Feb 12 2007

Texticle, Feb 12 2007

       It's abnormal.
It's original.

       It's aboriginal.   

       I will bun this one.. not so much because I am embarassed about the sounds I make but I really don't want to hear my next door neighbor groaning with every "movement" The other day I was in the public restroom where I heard, "PHLLLPUPUP Ohhh.... PHLAMAPLAPPA Whooooh.. yeah FFFFFSPLAPAPAPA ...hurrrrrrrr. ..ahhhhHHHH BLUBUBA SPABA BABBA..." I had to leave the room.
Jscotty, Feb 13 2007

       You were in the same room? That's gross.
Texticle, Feb 13 2007

       Really loud tribal music in the bathroom to incite more halfbaked ideas, eh? Guess it couldn't hurt!
quantum_flux, Feb 14 2007

       Oh God YES! [hippo]: "red-faced grunting..." I actually alter my eating habit three days before long car trips to avoid public restrooms and the faceless embarassment I'm sure to visit on myself should there be an unintended -ahem- sounding of horns. Bun.
elhigh, Feb 14 2007

       I was going to post an idea for including actual plastic-pipe didgeridoos in the restroom. Playing one would give the occupant something to do, a bit of internal pressure, and an excuse for all kinds of noises.   

       Aside from the sanitary problems, and the fear of inhaling that I mentioned above, it's close enough to this to not post.   

       But this one deserves a churn.
baconbrain, Apr 04 2011

       you can didgeridoo without using a tube - just your lips and vocal chords and your trunk as a resonant chamber, especially in bathrooms because the small space and live acoustics make the room a good sound box. This works especially well in tall buildings i think because the pipes are so long and there are so many varying lengths that you can frequently harmonize with something that is already going on in the pipes, so you get all sorts of sympathetic resonances.
JesusHChrist, Apr 05 2011

       What [JesusHChrist] said. It's called throat singing or overtone singing, and is a fun skill.
baconbrain, Apr 05 2011

       //you get all sorts of sympathetic resonances//   

       Not from the neighbours, I'll warrant.
MaxwellBuchanan, Apr 08 2011


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