Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Replace "light" with "sausages" and this may work...

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Electric Astrojax Theremin

Play the star spangled banner on an electric astrojax musical instrument
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The Electric Astrojax Theremin would be made of one long guitar string with three donut shaped weights on it, two anchoring the ends and one that slides freely in the middle. The sound would be generated by the bowing motion of the sliding fret moving against the taughtened string and the pitch would be determined by the distance between the fret and the anchoring weights.

Each of the end weights would act as a bridge and one of them would include an electric guitar pick-up, and the freely sliding one in the middle would act as a sliding fret. Maybe the middle one is a ring magnet pick-up.

An Acoustic Astrojax Theremin might work with a resonating sound box attached to one of the ring-weights.

Maybe an e-bow could be included.

Turn up the feedback and get the starspangled banner going.

JesusHChrist, Dec 11 2005

astrojax http://www.astrojax.../us/en/tricks/basic
[JesusHChrist, Dec 11 2005]

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       An intriguing instrument, to be sure, but I'm unclear why you've called it a theremin, since it isn't remotely like one.
friendlyfire, Dec 11 2005
  

       I imagine the sound would be like a theramin, single note and sliding between the pitches.
JesusHChrist, Dec 11 2005
  

       It sounds to me like a fretless bass, minus 3 strings. The other thing: since you use your fret to generate the note, could you even play a single pure note? If you hold the fret still there will be no sound. Maybe if you can tolerate immense vibrato it could be done.
bungston, Dec 12 2005
  
      
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