Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
Trying to contain nuts.

idea: add, search, annotate, link, view, overview, recent, by name, random

meta: news, help, about, links, report a problem

account: browse anonymously, or get an account and write.



Energy saving Daleks

Insulate! Insulate! is their chilling cry
  (+9, -1)(+9, -1)
(+9, -1)
  [vote for,

Packs for free swarming Daleks that detect by infra-red houses that have poor insulation, they surround it and cry "insulate, insulate" at the top of their voice chips.

Due the Health and Safety regulations, they are no longer allowed to zap the inhabitants but are limited to giving wicked Chinese burns with them sink plungerer things.

not_morrison_rm, Jul 27 2011


       // no longer allowed to zap the inhabitants //   

       All the old skills are dying out…
8th of 7, Jul 27 2011

       How much energy do the Daleks consume searching for poorly insulated houses? Also, how do they stand up against 6.8mm spc? My house is actually quite well- insulated, but if there are going to be Daleks on the loose, I'd still like to know.   

Alterother, Jul 28 2011

       Daleks are quite "green" and energy-efficient, as they are based on the same battery-electric technology as golf carts, mobility scooters, and electric wheelchairs.   

       Their armour is pretty effective, being a mixture of physical protection and an electromagnetic deflector shield. However, the eye stalk is more vulnerable. We advise the employment of directed-energy rather than projectile weapons, although digging a shallow hole and then covering it over with a sheet of cardboard will cause them a few problems to say the least.   

       Once the Dalek is disabled and the batteries are run down, they can be safely dismantled using an ordinary Sonic Screwdriver. The rubber suckers have a surprisingly high resale value to collectors, and are also very useful for clearing blocked sinks.   

       There are a number of charitable organisations who will be glad to remove the empty shell, which will then be refurbished and exported to third-world nations as temporary pillar boxes.
8th of 7, Jul 28 2011

       Hmm, I'm a little short on directed-energy weapons...   

       Maybe now's the time to splurge on that Barrett I've been lusting after.
Alterother, Jul 28 2011

       // I'm a little short on directed-energy weapons... //   

       Step into our office for a moment. We'll make you an offer you won't want to refuse.   

       Your residence does have a 3-phase, 660Volt, 300Amp supply, right ? Just asking.
8th of 7, Jul 28 2011

       A directed energy weapon that needs to be plugged into a wall outlet? Don't wast your money, [Alterother], they're obviously trying to foist the export model on you.
mouseposture, Jul 28 2011

       // Your residence does have a 3-phase, 660Volt, 300Amp supply, right? //   

       Actually, it does, but I'm still not buying your lousy Borgco death ray.
Alterother, Jul 28 2011

       C'mon, they're waaay better than those Acme ones .... and we offer easy payment terms, 0% financing, and one year's free subscription to "What's New In Spaceborne Combat Systems".   

       We can even get you Tribbles, if you're interested. Grill, stew, or stir-fry, but for best results barbeque. All that fluff just burns right off, no need to peel.
8th of 7, Jul 28 2011

       <[nrm] gets' that Oppenheimer "what have I done.." feeling> But still better than the HB kiss of death, which is currently running on a server somewhere in Area 57...
not_morrison_rm, Jul 29 2011

       // no longer allowed to zap the inhabitants //   

       This is a mistake. If they zapped the inhabitants, the temperature of the inhabitants would increase and there would be no need to heat their surroundings, which would be very efficient.
nineteenthly, Jul 29 2011

       Ah, the voice of sanity speaks at last.
8th of 7, Jul 29 2011

       it would require two daleks to give a chinese burn (energy saving?) as they only have one "sink plungerer things" each and that would also rely on those "sink plungerer things" having the ability to make a circular motion in both directions (clockwise for one and counter-clock for the other) in fact this is highly unlikely as those "sink plungerer things" do not possess a grip-like action...
po, Jul 29 2011

       Yeah, BorgCo do those kits too ... funny, we get a lot of business from people for whom the cardboard-over-hole trick didn't work, and are fed up of running away from daleks ...
8th of 7, Jul 29 2011

       I saw a Dalek at the Fleet Air Arm Museum once; Ima write to them and ask how they caught it.
Alterother, Jul 29 2011

       Easy. Dalek paper. Comes on a big roll, very sticky.
8th of 7, Jul 29 2011

       From Borgco, right?
Alterother, Jul 29 2011

       //It would require two daleks to give a chinese burn// But a single Dalek could give you one hell of a hickey.
mouseposture, Jul 29 2011

       "What are you gonna do? Sucker me to death?"
nineteenthly, Jul 30 2011


back: main index

business  computer  culture  fashion  food  halfbakery  home  other  product  public  science  sport  vehicle