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Recyclabear Insulation

Give teddy a new job.
  (+20, -4)(+20, -4)
(+20, -4)
  [vote for,

Every year thousands of tonnes of stuffed toys are imported and produced displacing an equivalent quantity of obsolete and distressed toys. These poor toys are frequently simply discarded and buried in landfills, and the simple waste of it boggles the mind. Shipping the damaged and elderly toys back to the factory to be refreshed or recycled is impossible so we need to find a way to reuse or recycle them a little closer to home. Enter the Recyclabear Blown in Insulation machine, a massive shredder and blower for insulating attics and filling stud bays. Trucks of stuffed toys pull up to the rear of the machine parked at the street. Into the hopper the innocent bears, octopi, etcetera tumble, snuggling gently down to the bottom where cruel spinning blades whisk the bears instantly into a narrow channel of choppers, once chopped the toy bits pass through a Roots style blower that outlets into a long hose snakes into the house spewing a stream of poly fiber, buttons, noses, chopped faux fur and mesh. This light blended fill has a high R value and provides the homeowner with both the pleasant feeling of recycling, and the loving insulating embrace of thousands of well loved imaginary friends.
WcW, Mar 22 2009

Yep, it'll blend http://www.willitbl...ying-valentine-gift
FDLFBUSATSWYPTFTGTTSOFVDC alert [lurch, Mar 22 2009, last modified May 08 2016]


       Those spinning blades are not cruel. Those old toys are happy to help.
bungston, Mar 23 2009

       + for the ecological idea   

       awaiting the horror movie based on the practice
cindik, Mar 23 2009

       //the loving insulating embrace of thousands of well loved imaginary friends.// Bun for this phrase alone
coprocephalous, Mar 23 2009

       Why not just use the soft toys as they are, without shredding them? Then, if your walls were made of glass, you'd see entire walls of battered, threadbare, unloved teddy bears, rabbits and dinosaurs staring out at you.
hippo, Mar 23 2009

       This is already baked by a friend of mine. His wife to be had hundreds of 'flufffies' as she calls them. Upon marriage them were all bagged up and placed in the loft, were they trippled the thickness of insulation already present. Although he does admit it would have been much more satisfying to just have a nice big bonfire of the fluffies.   

       I think what we need is a nice square of insulation (with a bear pictured on it) for children to cuddle. When they grow out of cuddly toys you can place it in the loft as it (and cut out the need to make a bear and then chop it up).
eight_nine_tortoise, Mar 23 2009

       Theoretical + but it just feels wrong. If I bunned you, I wouldn't be able to look Pinky in the eye anymore.
squeak, Mar 23 2009

       You could run a chain of shops backing onto the existing 'Build-a-Bear' frachise - 'Debuild-a-Bear'!
eight_nine_tortoise, Mar 23 2009

       [-] too sad, especially since old stuffed toys can be directly put onto the wall or ceiling for increased insulation (my "library" does exactly this with paperbacks without needing to turn them into cellulose fill first).
FlyingToaster, Mar 23 2009

       But it would be fun and more mysterious to get your home insulated and wonder if, somehow, that bear you once loved somehow partly made it back to your own house to protect you.
phundug, Mar 23 2009

       Won't you need to add a little fireproofing to the dead stuffed animal fill?
ye_river_xiv, Mar 24 2009

       You shouldn't need to - most places have laws about toys and things you might give to innocent, unsuspecting children being likely to easily burst into flames.
hippo, Mar 24 2009

       I love love love this idea.   

       I want to stick them in there whole with their voice boxes intact so that I can hear them scream from behind the sheet rock.   

       or could the final insulation product needs to be programmed to let out damaged wimpers and screams?
vfrackis, Mar 24 2009

       I like it, even if it has flaws...or paws. +
xandram, Mar 24 2009

       //if it has flaws...or paws//
All those button eyes, glaring at you through the walls, in reproach...creepy.
coprocephalous, Mar 24 2009

       ...[up on cloud nine] wakes at two in the morning hearing the muffled, dying strains of Barney the Dinosaur behind the drywall...
hippo, Mar 24 2009

       The gangster set could always put rebear right in the foundation.   

       Oh my. Now I'm having flashbacks to my mom torching Pepsi. She could have at least stuffed the rafters with him. + Great idea. Sorry about all the childhood friends being smooshed though.
blissmiss, Mar 24 2009

       Bun. But, please do not feed the bears...
VaquitaTim, Mar 25 2009

       FIRE FIRE FIRE! Don't forget to soak the insulation with somthin that won't burn.
popbottle, Nov 12 2013


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