Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Enhanced Eggs

The ability to use only one egg in a three egg omelette - wow !!!
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Consider genetics for a second - then consider being able to use only one fat egg to make a three egg omelette - shocking isn't it... If chickens were genetically enhanced - thus making them bigger and therefore sporting larger arses - then eggs as we know them would change forever. Imagine the kitchen time one could save - say when making a birthday cake or scones for a funeral - when you'd simply break one bigger egg into your bowl when the recipe clearly says 'use three large eggs'. Mmmm... These enhanced eggs would also come in handy when you've had a particularly taxing night in a tit-bar or somesuch and a bowl of cereal simply isn't big enough to plug the belly gap. Breakfast - as would chickens - may change forever. Yes.
andylyons, Aug 28 2001


       Well, since you are talking about absurd unliklihoods here . . . how about instead using genetic engineering to breed wee small people who would find a single egg omelette as equivalently filling as present-day sized people find a 3 egg omelette
bristolz, Aug 28 2001

       Or just use an ostrich egg. No 'I wish' needed.
StarChaser, Aug 28 2001

       In cooler climates, use a goose egg. For a lot of people, use an emu egg (lovely shade of teal, too).
hello_c, Aug 29 2001

       Woody Allen was chased by a giant chicken after he was thawed out wasn't he?
thumbwax, Aug 30 2001

       You know, something like this has already happened to lemons - I noticed one day that all the lemons in a grocers shop were larger than my fist (it's a girls fist, about the size of an unencumbered womb I am told). I found these oversized lemons unsettling. Lemons should be small delicate fruts, not great hefty things. Why meddle with nature! Why! After all, a slice from one of these monstrous lemons would have been far to big for a G&T.
Nadia, Aug 30 2001

       I didn't think eggs came out of chickens' arses. Been a vegetarian for three months. May be just about to become a vegan unless my worries are allayed.
lewisgirl, Aug 30 2001

       The animal rights flakes would definitely try to nail you on the sore chicken bottom issue here.   

       And Nadia, the big lemons are a variety called Ponderosa. Lots of lemon zest which is good if you bake.
Bonarein, Aug 30 2001

       OK, since GE was already introduced to this idea:
1. Eliminate the shell. 2. Design a "yolk" chicken and a "whites" chicken 3. Ensure that the 2 chicken types have calibrated dispensing methods

       That way, you just put a cup under the appropriate chicken and have it dispense an exact amount. Want 4 egg whites for that meringue? Just give the whites chicken a few pulls. Want 2 eggs, over easy? 2 dollops from the whites chicken, 2 from the yolks chicken.
quarterbaker, Aug 30 2001

       Lewisgirl: Yup, they do. Birds have one all-purpose hole...everything that comes out of a chicken's body comes out of the same place.
StarChaser, Aug 30 2001

       bristolz - RE: 'Wee people' - i've consulted six midgets who confess to finding the idea of a larger egg most appealing - their bellies - unlike their arms - are quite big and they assure me that a standard egg is by no means filling - no matter how 'wee' they are... I've yet to consult any tall people on the matter...
andylyons, Sep 01 2001

       [andylyons] Are you sure? I've just done a quick straw poll of all available midgets in my imaginary circus troupe, and 7 out of 9 of them reckoned that a single egg omelette was more than they could manage, especially with a mushroom in it.
-alx, Sep 02 2001

       quarterbaker... That will set back chicken race relations.
thumbwax, Sep 02 2001

       Stop the chickens from passing stuff like listeria and salmonella into their eggs (as is the case with current battery farming), then we'll consider genetically enhancing them...
MonTemplar, Sep 02 2001

       (alx) - A-Ha - my point exactly - 7 from 9 dwarves isn't such a bad ratio and I'll wager that the other two in question found the idea of the larger egg quite appealing.(?) Besides - and I'm not being picky here - you've polled only performing midgets who - as we know - operate on a 'high carb' diet - ask you're common garden dwarf and I'm certain you'll find them in rapture at the thought of the bigger egg... Either way - I congratulate you on owning such an opinionated circus - well done !!!
andylyons, Sep 03 2001

       I'm worried that these larger eggs (emus, ostriches, geese etc) are half-baked. That's a very dangerous way to eat an egg, you could get salmonella! All eggs should be thoroughly cooked until black all over and so hard that they break your teeth, apparently... According to Government reports, anyway (UK Government, that is).   

       </stupid comment>
kmlabs, Jan 29 2004

       i would buy pork loin eggs, roast beef eggs, howbout eggs with cheese for instant one ingredient cheese omlettes? howbout we engineer them to breed boneless chickens then they eggs can mature and turn into little boneless chicks,....man where is this going?
Arcanus, Mar 11 2010

       personally I like the idea of getting investors together to fund recreating dinosaurs, on the premise that their large eggs will sell. But until then:   

       [marked-for-deletion] GM
FlyingToaster, Mar 12 2010


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