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Expand the UK

You know you want it.
  (+5, -1)
(+5, -1)
  [vote for,
against]

Scotland wants to leave - fine, bugger off. Miserable whiny scrounging jocks, get lost.

That leaves a space at the table.

Now, the Dutch aren't keen on the EU. They are are pleasant enough bunch (for foreigners) and have a Royal family. Therefore, there is no reason why a dynastic marriage can't be arranged, and the Netherlands could become part of the UK. After all, anyone who hates the Germans nearly as much as the British can't be all bad.

Norway isn't EU either, and likewise has a Royal family. They fought like tigers in WW2 so are clearly worth having on side. See above, as per Holland.

Belgium .... err, no.

France - well, Calais should be returned to the Crown forthwith. Anjou, Poitiers, Burgundy and Aquitaine are under consideration, and would be ruled from the Channel Isles, just to rub it in.

Spain ? Well, maybe Gibraltar could annexe Spain. It would be useful as somewhere to park the caravan. But not Portugal ... Portugal is an old ally against the french.

Other applications will be considered on their individual merits.

8th of 7, Jun 24 2016

Clear_20UK_20national_20debt_2e [calum, Jun 24 2016]

remain/leave referendum results by area https://commons.wik...16_area_results.svg
[Loris, Jun 24 2016]

London ndependence Party https://twitter.com/LdnIndependence
Please gods yes ;D [Skewed, Jun 25 2016]

Dublin IFSC http://www.ifsc.ie/page.aspx?idpage=6
With a lower corporation tax (12.5%); full EU membership; great international airport and property that's less than half the price of London.... why stay in a city that's peaked and is now on its way down when you can move to one its way up? [xenzag, Jun 25 2016]

Declare London independant https://www.change....pply-to-join-the-eu
the actual petition [Skewed, Jun 25 2016]

Why we joined the EU http://youtu.be/37iHSwA1SwE
[Ling, Jun 26 2016]

Hong Kong http://www.rfa.org/...03142013141313.html
[Ling, Jun 26 2016]

[link]






       //...anyone who hates the Germans nearly as much as the British can't be all bad.//   

       Hold on, we hate the Germans?   

       Also, I'm enjoying the concept of the Borg driving a caravan.
Loris, Jun 24 2016
  

       // we hate the Germans? //   

       Doesn't everyone ?
8th of 7, Jun 24 2016
  

       I find it odd that Scotland voted so strongly in favor of remaining in the EU but it was such a nailbiter to leave the UK.
RayfordSteele, Jun 24 2016
  

       // I find it odd that Scotland voted so strongly in favor of remaining in the EU but it was such a nailbiter to leave the UK //
One of the central planks of the 2014 "No" campaign was that independence would jeopardise Scotland's membership of the EU. Thanks a bunch, England and Wales.
calum, Jun 24 2016
  

       I can’t understand how most people didn’t seem to notice the tiny asterisk next to the “leave” tick box yesterday, referring to a tiny line of text at the bottom of the paper which said “…and join the UAE instead”.
Ian Tindale, Jun 24 2016
  

       // Thanks a bunch, England and Wales. //   

       You're welcome. It was a pleasure.   

       Now piss off, and take Gordon Brown with you.
8th of 7, Jun 24 2016
  

       Looking at that map, it appears to be all Gibraltar’s fault.
Ian Tindale, Jun 24 2016
  

       //Looking at that map, it appears to be all Gibraltar’s fault.//   

       Hmm. The colour scheme on that map is crap. Gibraltar were _staunchly_ Remain (4.1% leave)
It actually looks like only the giant's causeway is anywhere near close to as european as them.
  

       I dithered over whether to use the two-tone version, but in the end decided that it lost information about the closeness of the result in some areas.
Loris, Jun 24 2016
  

       //Thanks a bunch, England and Wales// - I think you mean "Thanks a bunch, England (excluding London) and Wales"
hippo, Jun 24 2016
  

       That's a fair point, hippo, though I am running on post-factual sentiment at the mo.   

       Re Gordon Brown, the personal upside for him is that he is no longer Britain's worst ever prime minister.
calum, Jun 24 2016
  

       // planks of the 2014 //   

       not one of mine, the division of in / out between Scotland & the rest of the UK accept Northern Ireland & London is pretty stark though   

       Scotland asking for a fresh crack at that vote would be perfectly reasonable in light of it - same Island so I'd prefer you stay though   

       Same for Northern Ireland - this one makes more sense to me the other way round but it'd be up to them   

       Not sure what to do about London..
Skewed, Jun 24 2016
  

       //no longer Britain's worst ever prime minister// - there's a good chance that the competition for that particular prize will be thrown wide open this autumn.

[Skewed] Obviously, N.I, Scotland and London unite to form a new country, "ScotNiLon" and stay in the EU.
hippo, Jun 24 2016
  

       Funnily, it is only the east and west of London that voted to stay in — a vertical stripe through the centre didn’t.
Ian Tindale, Jun 24 2016
  

       [hippo] I like it - completely landlocked with no coastal waters of it's own, think of the tariffs we could squeeze from London for every necessity that crosses its borders ;D   

       so we divide London between ScotNiLon & EngWalCorn on that basis then [Ian]   

       which means you get the banking & financial sectors [calum] but we bleed them dry with tariffs ;P
Skewed, Jun 24 2016
  

       We should split London up like a new Berlin. And Wales could be like the West Bank. Are we going to have to start flying in supplies to Londoners behind the wall?
RayfordSteele, Jun 24 2016
  

       // flying in supplies //   

       nope - that would be infringing on EngWalCorn's airspace & we wouldn't allow it, we want our border tariffs thank you very much
Skewed, Jun 24 2016
  

       //Funnily, it is only the east and west of London that voted to stay in — a vertical stripe through the centre didn’t.//   

       That's why the leave campaign won : Blockbuster rules.
Loris, Jun 24 2016
  

       I think Cameron should give a parting speech: "From Lancaster near the Irish Sea to Margate on the Channel, an Iron Curtain has descended across the island..."
RayfordSteele, Jun 24 2016
  

       //completely landlocked with no coastal waters of it's own, think of the tariffs we could squeeze from London// - but London's got a natural and easily defensible border, the M25, and so has a major airport in its territory.
hippo, Jun 24 2016
  

       London airport will be annexed & put back to grazing - defensible borders cut both ways
Skewed, Jun 24 2016
  

       So when you dig up the Chunnel,
1) where are you going to put it?
2) what are you going to call it?
lurch, Jun 24 2016
  

       Skew Construction Ltd is already tendering for the contract   

       1. Our proposal tender involves leaving it precisely where it is, we'll just plug the French end with concrete   

       2. We will repurpose it with windows so the areas many fine examples of silt can be viewed & call it the Chunnel Silt Aquarium
Skewed, Jun 24 2016
  

       //1) where are you going to put it? 2) what are you going to call it?//   

       MaxCo. has already made a very attractive offer for the Eurotunnel.   

       We are in discussions with the French about some minor modifications to their end regarding elevation and angle. The existing main-line rail tracks will be supplemented with rail scavenged from the service track, and re-fixed to form a long helix. At the English end, we plan to fit an enormous breech-block and firing mechanism.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 24 2016
  

       Umm.. ah, sorry, we'd already got started when I got this letter informing me MaxCo had won the tender..   

       jumped the gun a bit there   

       we'll just leave this concrete here then shall we, I'm sure it won't take you too long to unplug it
Skewed, Jun 24 2016
  

       // he is no longer Britain's worst ever prime minister //   

       ... nor ever was. That particular accolade goes to Clem Attlee.   

       // Not sure what to do about London.. //   

       Hmmm .... call the Luftwaffe and ask if they're busy.   

       // We should split London up like a new Berlin. //   

       We should split London up like a new Hiroshima.   

       // And Wales could be like the West Bank. //   

       Where are you going to find the money to fund the massive improvement programme ?   

       // Are we going to have to start flying in supplies to Londoners behind the wall? //   

       No. Just let them eat one another.   

       // London's got a natural and easily defensible border, the M25,//   

       It's an artificial border, but yes, thankfully it's defensible. A few lorryloads of razor wire will keep them in.   

       // and so has a major airport in its territory. //   

       ... supplied with fuel by pipeline. Oh dear.   

       // So when you dig up the Chunnel, 1) where are you going to put it? //   

       The first available EU commissioner. Sideways. Without lubrication.   

       // 2) what are you going to call it? //   

       Payback.   

       // At the English end, we plan to fit an enormous breech-block and firing mechanism. //   

       And there was much rejoicing.   

       // we'll just leave this concrete here then shall we, I'm sure it won't take you too long to unplug it //   

       No, that's absolutely fine. It will do nicely for the first proofing shot.
8th of 7, Jun 24 2016
  

       you know we were talking about London independence earlier.. well we're not the only ones   

       [link]   

       they don't appear to have considered the possible travel, trade & tariff ramifications of an EU enclave in a non EU UK
Skewed, Jun 25 2016
  

       London should simply purchase the entire city of Dublin as an EU investment property, then they wouldn't have to worry when all of those banking HQs shift to Dublin. (which I believe they will, to remain in the EU) - see link.
xenzag, Jun 25 2016
  

       aha !!   

       found it [link] - it was started as a joke, a lot of people seem to be taking it seriously though   

       I'm almost inclined to sign the thing, would love to hear the squeals as they see the wall go up & hear what tariffs we'll be charging ;P
Skewed, Jun 25 2016
  

       I just signed the petition to make London independent. From here in Cambridge it looks like an excellent idea.   

       I also think somebody should approach change.org about their internet bill, and offer them a better deal. You are given the option to donate £3 to change.org, which will allow them to "show the petition to 20 potential supporters". Even if they email each person individually, that seems a little expensive.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 25 2016
  

       A good way to expand the UK is inflate it. I'm not sure where you plug the air hose, somewhere near the center to get even expansion, maybe Sheffield? You could go until you bump into the north of France. This would have the effect of making every place in UK farther from every other place, which might be desirable.
tatterdemalion, Jun 25 2016
  

       My dad's birthday was yesterday and I'm reminded of something he said about England once. As a child I had asked him about post empire England, specifically, now that all their colonies were gone, what resources were they left with. His answer was "The English."   

       I think you guys will do fine post EU membership. All civilization is facing challenges at this point in history but the English have stood up to challenges before.
doctorremulac3, Jun 25 2016
  

       Thanks, [doc].   

       It is very odd that we tend to root for former Soviet- bloc countries seeking independence, or for Catalonians or Basques who feel they're entitled to their own self-determination. Yet when the UK decides it doesn't want to be ruled by unelected heads meeting in another country, people don't get it.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 25 2016
  

       //decides it doesn't want to be ruled by unelected heads meeting in another country//   

       Hmm. Where have I heard that before? ;) Welcome to the club brother.   

       I strikes me that about 70 years ago the western world got together to fight against a gigantic, powerful, centralized government entity that would rule the entire world with an iron fist. It's like if the bad guys built an all powerful robot ten miles tall and set it on "destroy", and after we defeated it, we decided that what we really needed was a ten mile tall all powerful robot whose programming we'd tweak a little bit. I don't see why we need the damned thing at all.   

       No matter if you set the controls to "Destroy" or "Soothe and Caress". Even if we build this thing (all powerful global government) and have it mincing around the world planting daisies, who's to say the next generation of folks running the thing won't say "Hey, did you see that this thing has a "Destroy everything in its path." switch?   

       I personally don't feel the need to rule anybody but myself, so I feel little sympathy for those that feel the need to rule over as many people as possible. Sorry Brussels, cry me a river.
doctorremulac3, Jun 25 2016
  

       //decides it doesn't want to be ruled by unelected heads// How does this message read: "Germans want to make sure that the UK receives no favours in exit negotiations to act as a warning to other countries who dare to consider escaping from the EU." Didn't they try that once or twice before?
xenzag, Jun 25 2016
  

       Old habits die hard.
8th of 7, Jun 25 2016
  

       How about federalising the UK (guess what we'd call it, maybe we could just toss a "Union" on the end of the title for good measure).   

       1. Set up a new federal parliament in Wales (they'll like that, & if the central parliament isn't in England the Scots might stop bitching at us so much).   

       2. Negotiate Irelands exit from the EU to join us (they might go for it just to protect their meat trade, we're their biggest customer after all, as an added advantage we could hand back the North & draw a line under that whole sorry affair).   

       3. Ireland, Scotland & Wales keep their parliaments, Cornwall gets it's own as does North, South, East & West England (this is tactical so the Scots won't know who their supposed to hate).   

       We're a bigger trade partner for Scotland than the rest of the EU combined & we share a land border so it makes sense to keep them, but we may have to bully them a bit to make them accept.. anyone know where the Tridents are ("the Scots have them?, well get them back!")   

       4. Set up a competing trade block with the Dutch, Norway & anyone else that seems useful, or available (we can throw it's headquarters to the Scots, it'll be more central, might help persuade them to abandon the EU & isn't going to have any real power anyway).   

       This is mostly just so we can add that "Union" on the end of our new name of course.   

       Any that are really worth it will obviously be invited to join the Federal United Kingdom instead of the FUK-U.   

       Naturally being in at the start we can make sure it's done right this time, none of that free movement of people rubbish.   

       5. London we boot out, the EU can keep it, pop the damn wall up & start taxing them through the nose for every last erg of power, water, gas, food & any other supplies we deliver, we can probably set a zero tax for the rest of us off the back of that (& if nothing else sells the whole rotten idea to the Scots that'll be the clincher).   

       I think that's about it really.
Skewed, Jun 26 2016
  

       //London we boot out, the EU can keep it// No no, not that! We'd lose all of our bankers, most of our politicians, a huge number of senior managers of one sort or another, not to mention... OK, go for it.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 26 2016
  

       sorry [calum], none of that was targeted at you :)
Skewed, Jun 26 2016
  

       No apology necessary!
calum, Jun 26 2016
  

       Of course we may get a few things wrong with the new union to start with so we'll start with a beta version to identify any kinks which will be replaced after four years with a new one incorporating any identified improvements.   

       Naturally, the second one will be called the Federal United Kingdom Union v.2 (FUK-U2).
Skewed, Jun 26 2016
  

       Precisely what I say each time I open iTunes.
Ian Tindale, Jun 26 2016
  

       Historical Curiosity: in 1933, the state of Western Australia voted, in a referendum, to secede from Australia, but then failed to follow through. No-one noticed.
pertinax, Jul 14 2016
  
      
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