Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Litter Berm

Similar to the Western Sahara Wall in Morocco, but with cat shit!
  (+4, -1)
(+4, -1)
  [vote for,

I suggest a donation drive to collect used cat litter and send it to the southern border of the US to be used in lieu of expensive concrete to build a berm barrier. It's sufficiently infused with cat urine and feces to deter unwanted climbing/tunneling, and with the superior clumping and odor absorbing properties of modern cat litters, it will hold its shape AND smell so as not to offend the senses of the locals.

Trump wants a border barrier? Let's give him one that befits the name of its creator, and won't break the bank: A giant pile of cat shit.

21 Quest, Jan 04 2019

The Gadsden Purchase https://en.wikipedi...ki/Gadsden_Purchase
Made America greater, yet again. [8th of 7, Jan 05 2019]


       // befits the name of its creator //   

       So, it should be named after James Gadsden, U.S. ambassador to Mexico in 1853 ? He's responsible for defining the current border.   


       If the U.S.A. under the current President is such a deeply unpleasant place, why would anyone want to cross the border anyway ? Where they are can't possibly be worse than where they'd end up, shirley ?
8th of 7, Jan 05 2019

       I referred to the barrier, not the border.
21 Quest, Jan 05 2019

       Surely it would be named after President Garfield?
MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 05 2019

       Electing that blasted cartoon cat as president ? Only in America ...
8th of 7, Jan 05 2019

       You kind of mean a "cat shit/pee" steel wall thingy-ma-jig, don't cha?
blissmiss, Jan 05 2019

       //why would anyone want to cross the border anyway ?// Not even the universal chicken knows the answer to that one. The idea is of course a winner. [+]
xenzag, Jan 05 2019

       Well ... maybe to escape poverty, gang violence, crumbling urban infrastructure, pollution, ineffectual government, dire public healthcare and education, and rampant religious fundamentalism ?   

       But on the downside, Mexico is quite hot at some times of year; Canada may be a better choice.
8th of 7, Jan 05 2019

       Will Mexico be paying for this berm, in cat litter of course? This would avoid America being shut down for months or even years as Trump has threatened. Can we start posting bags of used cat litter to the Whitehouse to save America? ha
xenzag, Jan 08 2019

       Actually, the Capitol building would be the correct address - it's their fault, after all. And all power to the Don, he's finally doing something that's been needed for half a century. Time to clean house, preferably with fire and the sword.   

       <Wonders if a "Crash and Berm" pun would work/>
8th of 7, Jan 08 2019

       Thinly disguised rant [-]
Voice, Jan 09 2019

       [+] On the plus side, it will also attract dogs. On the minus side, I'm told that dogs often eat it. Extra buns if there's video of Trump opening it.
4and20, Jan 09 2019

       Maybe he can stand on the top and urinate over onto the Mexican side.
8th of 7, Jan 09 2019

       It would be interesting to figure out how many centuries before any of the Southern US states would have a tourist industry, again.   

       I still maintain that a long line of tethered dirigibles is far superior to a wall.
FlyingToaster, Jan 09 2019

       // tethered dirigibles //   

       Eh ?   

       Dirigibles are steerable, powered LTA vehicles. They are tethered - more correctly, moored - only when they are close enough to the ground to be loaded, unloaded and maintained (or in emergencies).   

       You're thinking of observation balloons, or barrage balloons; tethered, unpowered, and unsteerable.
8th of 7, Jan 09 2019

       I remain convinced that this is good idea.
xenzag, Jan 09 2019

       //Eh ?//   

       Tethered, as in "We'd very much like to keep this thing in approximately the same spot, without having to bother with running the engines up and down every time there's a light breeze".   

       Dirigibles, because the world needs a steady supply of relatively inexpensive government surplused LTA craft. And tactical.
FlyingToaster, Jan 09 2019

       So it's a dirigible - complete with powerplants, control surfaces, a cockpit, instrumentation and all the other bells and whistles - but it's just moored in one spot until it's time to sell it off ?   

       The thing about pressure envelopes is they're relatively cheap and expendable.   

       Won't be cheap. Then again, the Mexicans are paying, so no problem ...
8th of 7, Jan 09 2019

       Your dirigibles would be visible, risible and deridable.
21 Quest, Jan 10 2019

       <Outrageous fake Hispanic accent>   

       "Deereegeeeblees ? Hwe doan' need no steenkeeng deereegeeeblees !"   

8th of 7, Jan 10 2019

       //Your dirigibles would be visible, risible and deridable.// That's what the 30mm's are for.
FlyingToaster, Jan 10 2019

       [8th] is right. It's only a dirigible if you can direct it. I'm pretty sure the word was coined to distinguish zeppelinny things from unsteerable, gone-with-the-wind balloons. Not everything that is gonflable is dirigible. If you're just going to put it up, anchor it in place and walk away, it's not dirigible. (A health-and-safety fusspot might insist that you anchor it in place, *climb down* and walk away).
pertinax, Jan 11 2019

       Of course you can direct them ; just because a tank is parked doesn't make it a picnic table.
FlyingToaster, Jan 11 2019

       Tanks are typically of a somewhat inconvenient height for use as picnic tables. They are handy for fruit-picking, though, particularly apples. They have the advantage of dual mode operation. The first option is to stand on the tank and reach up to the fruit. The second is to fire the main armament, then walk round and pick the fruit up off the ground.   

       // [8th] is right. //   

       ... as always.   

       // If you're just going to put it up, anchor it in place and walk away, it's not dirigible. //   

       You can tether a dirigible like that; but to qualify as a dirigible, it must be capable of directed and controlled flight.   

       // (A health-and-safety fusspot might insist that you anchor it in place, *climb down* and walk away). //   

       We hate people like that. They take all the enjoyment out of death.   

       Zip wire ... ?
8th of 7, Jan 11 2019

       Asshats, the lot of ye.   

       The idea is to use dirigibles, that are normally tethered (until moving about is called for) for economical station-keeping ; not tethered blimps mislabelled "dirigibles".
FlyingToaster, Jan 11 2019

       What about the tanks ? Are they tethered, or free-floating ?
8th of 7, Jan 11 2019

       What about anchored warships?
21 Quest, Jan 12 2019

       Very good as picnic tables, but awkward for collecting fruit.
8th of 7, Jan 12 2019

21 Quest, Jan 12 2019

       Let's work it out...   

       100 million housecats in the US
1ft³/month/cat, clay litter
10.5 million ft. long border
= 100ft² of wall cross-section per annum.

       1:7 wall height:width ratio (based on clay's angle-of-repose)
= an almost 6ft high wall, first year.
FlyingToaster, Feb 04 2019

       // 100 million housecats in the US //   


       99,999,999 housecats in the US ...   

       <Clicka-click of fresh round being chambered/>
8th of 7, Feb 04 2019

       // 1:7 wall height:width ratio (based on clay's angle-of- repose) //   

       = an easily climbable and soft ridge
notexactly, Feb 04 2019

       <Sound of expectant halfbakers settling into their seats to watch from upwind the unique spectacle of [notexactly] climbing hand over hand up a two metre high ridge of used cat litter/>
8th of 7, Feb 04 2019

       //a two metre high ridge of used cat litter//   

       That's just the first year. Three years later and it's four metres high ; five years after that six metres high, etc.
FlyingToaster, Feb 04 2019

       May we enquire as to what currently happens to all this used cat litter ? It has to go somewhere, along with its burden of cat wee and excrement ... but where is that ?   

       The only place we can envisage a gigantic pile of used cat litter going unnoticed is somewhere in the metropolitan New York area, where it probably counts as "urban improvement".
8th of 7, Feb 05 2019

       Re: The Gadsden Purchase + California, might be an idea to return them back to Mexico and get a refund, global warming -> bugger all water in those areas.   

       Assuming no one's lost the receipt?
not_morrison_rm, Feb 05 2019

21 Quest, Feb 05 2019


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