h a l f b a k e r yA riddle wrapped in a mystery inside a rich, flaky crust
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This is a method of culling
paedophiles, and making the world
safe for children.
Create robots which look and behave
like real children, and release them
in areas known to be frequented by
child molesters. Paedophiles would
descend upon the robot kiddies,
unable to resist the temptation,
and
lead them away to a secluded place.
The synthetic skin around the robot's
genital regions, would be covered
with sensors which, when activated,
trigger a high explosive charge,
instantly killing whoever was
attempting to molest it.
If these things can be manufactured
in sufficiently large quantities,
economies of scale may make them
cheaper than hiring FBI agents to
impersonate children; additionally,
they would be able to work outside of
AOL chat rooms.
Possibly what [protean] read.
http://www.wired.co...ffsupertoys_pr.html
[angel, Jun 29 2001, last modified Oct 04 2004]
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Annotation:
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Croissant! Not just b/c this is an outstanding use for technology but also for listing it under the heading of "Pest Control"..... <snicker> |
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Is there a "Best Title of the Week" award? |
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I swear I've seen this in an anime somewhere. |
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Although silly, this does seem to have a practical side to it. Maybe the robots could arrest the perpetrators. Explosions are too dangerous, IMO. |
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We could also send the robot children into mined villages to pick up the exploding toys. |
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Explosions AND robots. Sounds like I [acb] is going to be my new favorite halfbaker. |
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AA, I ask you: Genre-wise, how could one *possibly* top this? |
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Maybe an automatic castration feature? |
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I'm sure someone will shortly drag in 'custard', 'nanites', 'bioengineering' and 'bluetooth'. <No, I didn't.> |
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[the military]-I don't know how, but I am well known here for all my old "Exploding ****" ideas. Check the profile. |
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I don't like them any more than you, but are their numbers sufficient to justify walking landmines? |
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That's a good point, Unabubba. I was about to complain that these Exploding Robot Children might exidentally exterminate kindly old ladies trying to help a lost child.
Robot Children with Exploding Genitalia would be much better. |
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I don't think people have thought about the trauma faced by the poor robotic parents of the robot children ... |
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If I hadn't realised that this was slightly less than serious, I would have made some terribly earnest comments about how most of the traumatic effects of paedophiles come from a longer-term contact which ends up being very distressing for the kid but doesn't involve genitalia (exploding or otherwise) until late on. And frankly, every female should have the facility to automatically castrate men, so that none would try their luck until the answer *really* was yes. Don't tell me this spoils your romantic spontaneity. It only takes a minute for me to type in my code and the castration facility is switched off. Or is it?! Giving an added frisson of excitement to our encounter, tee hee. |
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The incentives offered by the recruiters there must have been phenomenal. |
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There's a science fiction short story (name and author escape me) in which prospective parents must successfully raise a robotic child to the age of six, to demonstrate their suitability to be parents. If the robot child "survives" to age six, it explodes, and the parents have earned the right to have a real child. The story focuses on the last day of a robot child's "life" and the anguish the parents feel over losing what to them has long since seemed a real child. Anybody recall the name and author? |
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Possibly 'Super-Toys Last All Summer Long', Brian Aldiss (link). |
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What if the robot children rise up and turn on their masters? |
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Super-glue would be very funny... |
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I'm sorry to have this on my mind, but what if the robot starts having feelings, and builds up a relation with a real child ? Yuck !! |
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//What if the robot children rise up and turn on their masters?// [simonj] |
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Just get a long stick and touch the robot's genitals. BOOM! No more revolutionary robot. |
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Could with do this with Sheep...? |
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// I was about to complain that these Exploding Robot Children might exidentally exterminate kindly old ladies trying to help a lost child.// |
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I'm amazed nobody asked why this kindly old lady felt the need to touch the child's naughty bits. |
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This is ace by the way [+], both idea and annos. |
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//Create robots which look and behave like real children//
The National Curriculum is an attempt by the UK government to implement this part of the idea. Having them explode once they've exceeded their useful productive life can't be far behind. |
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"I'm going to have to spank you, but it will hurt me more than you" |
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Curious children and friendly sniffing dogs beware. |
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How about the Clenching Robottom, which can be fitted to the seat of your child and activates upon penetration. |
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I always feel uneasy about things that are obviously unethical yet obviously right. |
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//Clenching Robottom ... activates upon penetration// |
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[marklar] I hope you receive years of therapy on whatever planet your from. ;P |
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"I'm Chris Hanson, would you like a crossiant and lemonade with your idea?" |
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The genitalia should simply burst and stain the perpetrator with that blue dye they use for bank robber money bags. |
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There is no "paedophile crisis." I will not join any quest to Save The Children because I want my kids to grow up in a free world. |
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"What kind of parent would let a child run around alone? Here, little one, let me pick you up and find your mommy." *bang* |
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a two year old: "lets play doctor"... |
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This would work really well against all those petter-ass priests and pastors who like to pose as being trustworthy baby sitters or whatever it is that they do to get access to other people's children. |
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Yeah someone suggested super glue, I think that is better than death.
A famous cancer researcher probably responsible for saving many lives was convicted last year of child molesting - I don't think he deserves to die. An extreme case, but you get the point. Super glue. |
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Are there any serious ideas here at all? |
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There was something about a PIN number, some sort of ATM security idea or something. Meh, can't remember. |
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//Are there any serious ideas here at all?// |
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I saw a idea on here just the other day, it was actually quite good. I can't remember where it was though. |
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I've always read this idea as "Exploding Robot Chickens" I like that. |
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//Are there any serious ideas here at all?//
Well, there was the jam one from Down Under. |
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I like the idea but instead of exploding when sensors are tripped...they extend something like the small teeth extending from "Predator" monsters mouth and firmly latch onto the offenders hand or arm...severly crushing bones but not separating the appendage....they simply latch onto the pedophile and will not release except by police department computer command. The offender would be forced to either cut off his own limb or struggly, ever so painfully, to the nearest police officer for help....good idea. |
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//I've always read this idea as "Exploding Robot Chickens" I like that.//
Wuh- wah. Blimey. I have been reading this as "Exploding Robot Chicken" for years and it made perfect sense to me: like playing chicken, running across motorways, but instead it's with molestation of the chiddlers. |
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What happens when the little robot boy has to pee? |
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I am surpried by our desire to fill our surroundings with hand grenades cleverly disguised as everyday objects. What about playing doctor? Pedofiles are not the only people who might touch between robot Sallie's legs. Especially if she was such a good imitation of a real girl. Would she have a "real" familty and do her homework and such? Why have any "real" people at all? (safety first!) {props to voice} |
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// I am surpried by our desire to fill our surroundings with hand grenades cleverly disguised as everyday objects // |
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You're not from round here, are you ? |
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[marked-for-deletion]: cruelty |
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I wish I could bun this again |
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Me too. I feel like setting up a protest group to ensure the idea's survival following that bogus MFD. |
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A bit harsh ? Why couldn't said robot child just accompany the nasty person to their house and keep them happy forever, thus obviating the need for them to molest real kids ? Candy for everyone ! |
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I to cringe at the spate of recent agressive MFDs and did not hesitate to delete one that I felt was truely bogus just because I find it a high handed treatment by old timers against newbies. |
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Why not just equip it with a really, REALLY, large needle that painfully implants a police tracking device that activates on contact with blood. The short range of the needle would mean that poor old lady trying to help the child doesn't end up as soup. Also, they'd need defense against reprogramming, especially if they had exposlives in them. Because if a terrorist, or... well... me got their hands on one. *evil grin* (no naughty below the belt grin, world domination grin)
oh and... why use a robot child? |
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Last i checked a lot of pedophilia was incestual or other relationship based, not rape in the 'pulled off the steet' sense. I suspect that strangers coercing sex is less than 1% of pedofilic incidents. I would think exploding alter boys or nieces would hit their mark more often than street wandering children. |
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