Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Fake Plastic Trees

Instant spring!
  (+17, -2)(+17, -2)
(+17, -2)
  [vote for,

As the seasons take far too long to change, spring creaking to life over cold wet months and autumn crumbling to winter's death like an interminable nursing home afternoon, I propose a fake tree, leafless and clad in real bark, that houses an electromagnet set up such that at each branch-end leaf and flower point houses an attractive magnet element. Thus on the first day of spring, summer and autumn, proud owners and council workers can throw up into the branches of the trees hundreds or even thousands of appropriately styled plastic blossoms and leaves, each housing a small sliver of metal, for the purposes of connecting firmly to the branches.

At the changing of the seasons, place a sheet around the tree, switch off the magnet and watch the leaves tumble like fresh green rain. Bag up and replace.

calum, Apr 11 2005

Song in head, courtesey [calum]. http://www.lyricsfr...diohead/113257.html
It wears me out. [Worldgineer, Apr 11 2005]

crows are bloody clever - I told you so... http://news.bbc.co..../nature/1706437.stm
pigeons are not so behind. [po, Mar 10 2006]


       Line the avenues of London with the trees and sell the leaves in newsagents. Picture millions of commuters casting leaves and blossoms into the air on their way to work.
wagster, Apr 11 2005

       Cool. I fear some sort of flower gang warfare, though.
"Red Flowers!"
"No, blue!"
moomintroll, Apr 11 2005

       As opposed to "real" plastic trees?
AbsintheWithoutLeave, Apr 11 2005

       Real plastic trees, as any fule no, are the trees on which plastic is grown. As these trees are not living they are incapable of growing plastic and must therefore be labelled "Fake".
calum, Apr 11 2005

       how to vote, hmmmm.......   

       how about a fish for your distain for nature, [calum] . no, perhaps a bun for satire and writing style, but yes, better yet, a bun for an invention instead of a rant. good one
dentworth, Apr 11 2005

       Would there be fake plastic squirrels, too?
salachair, Apr 11 2005

       Billy, quit climbing that Mag-nolia. It's live ya know.   

       I can imagine mischievious youths tossing all manner of crap into your tree for a laugh e.g. empty drinks cans, road signs, dogs with studded collars etc. etc. nice idea though
HowardMarks, Apr 11 2005

       hope the birds don't get maimed in the process.
po, Apr 11 2005

       One could do this without the electromagnet, but instead, a powerful permanent magnet at the base with metal branches.
bungston, Apr 12 2005

       I suppose the trees could be enleaved by placing the plastic foliage on the ground around the trunk and turning on the electromagnet, thus creating a reverse autumn effect. In fact, the strength of the electromagnet might be varied deftly so that the leaves dance and whirl in the air for at least minutes before clicking into place on the branch. Though this would play havoc with nearby credit cards and video cassettes, it would save the enleaver's arms from strain and might be weirdly pretty.   

       [Howard], it'd be easy enough to clean the metal litter out of the tree by swiching off (or varying) the magnet, removing the now fallen trash and switching the whole thing back on again.   

       And yes, [sal], fake plastic squirrels (red only) as well as fake plastic tree otters, finches and owls.
calum, Apr 12 2005

       Can we have a panda? And a sloth?
angel, Apr 12 2005

       wow this is awesome
benfrost, Apr 12 2005

       Can the leaves be sucked back into the tree instead of falling on the ground? Then they could just be used next year. And... what if they were temperture sensitive to change color when it dropped below say 45F thus giving the further illusion of fall.
37PiecesOf Flair, Apr 12 2005

       Fake plastic trees are more sensitive to temp than to light. HA!
37PiecesOf Flair, Apr 12 2005

       Modulate the electromagnetic field with sounds so the leaves move to give singing trees.
DenholmRicshaw, Apr 12 2005

       //proud owners and council workers can throw up into the branches of the trees// Heh Heh. Sorry not feeling to well today.
Zimmy, Apr 12 2005

       Plant a tree.
pashute, Mar 10 2006

       Why not have retractable leaves in hollow branches? Like those fake wands that a bunch of flowers pops out of at the touch of a button. Though I would like small yappy-type dogs to get their comeuppance (and I like dogs).
rubyminky, Mar 10 2006

       what about birds with bands on their legs? (commonly done to study migration patterns and stuff)
craziness, Mar 10 2006

       what about it?
po, Mar 10 2006


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