Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Farmer Tan Eradication Tubes

Nudist gardeners need not apply
  [vote for,

It is an unavoidable fact: anyone who works outside all year will end up with a farmer tan by the end of the summer, no matter how hard they try to avoid it.

But hey, it’s kinda nice to be brown. Not so nice to be piebald. White feet and ankles are a particular eyesore (aka skin socks). And it’s nigh-on impossible to equalise a tan once it's been farmered good and proper.

The worst of it is being out for a summers evening in a pretty, strappy, floaty summer dress and sandals. Everyone seeing me can tell at a glance that I spend most of my time stomping around in steel-toecap boots. Completely ruins the effect. And if you’re a man, well, it just looks stupid (yes, it does).

Farmer Tan Eradication Tubes are UV-blocking, breathable stretch fabric tubes that come in sets of 5: two for the arms ending in gloves, two for the legs and a balaclava for the head and neck, leaving the torso, shoulders, thighs and feet free to tan.

Simply roll on to the requisite limbs or head, adjust to cover tanned areas, top with your most elegant sunglasses and sunhat, lie back to soak up the rays and ....Eradicate that Farmer Tan*!

*suggestions for a snappier slogan welcome

squeak, Aug 02 2010

But what about the buttocks? http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-10851331
[Clockwork Monkey, Aug 03 2010]

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       (+) I thought that this was going to be for fiber optic long-johns so you could get an all-over tan without scaring the neighbours.   

       [+], but there must be a limit to how high up a limb they can reach.   

       How about a graded sock/glove/poncho, so that your tan can blend gradually into alabaster whiteness?
MaxwellBuchanan, Aug 02 2010

       [neutral] What's wrong with a UV blocking unitard?   

       Or perhaps a feet-only tanning bed? Well not bed shaped... you know what I mean. :)   

       Or UV transparent footwear?
goldbb, Aug 02 2010

       Waterproof, steel-toecapped, steel-halfsoled and....UV transparent? Like jelly safety sandals or something?   

       Also, it isn't just the feet that are the problem- desciption altered.
squeak, Aug 02 2010

       ahhh... the naked-ninja method of tan distribution.
FlyingToaster, Aug 02 2010

       Well, yeah. Ninja sunbathing must be learned over many years, of course.
squeak, Aug 03 2010


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