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"This may be bollocks, but it's lovely bollocks."
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First Aid Skype Kiosk
skype with a nurse when you are at the shore, or anywhere there is no hospital nearby.
Little Nigel comes running up from the shore, still dripping
from the ocean.." MOMMY... I got stung by a jellyfish!" As he
running to his mother, he steps in a hole, and twists his
AND he falls backwards.
On his way down, his hand "accidentally" brushes up against
buxom bathing beauty, whose muscular boyfriend
him a good one... right in the kisser. Blood is spurting from
The mother rushes to him, but what can she do? She's a data
entry clerk for goodness sake and makes no bones about
fainting at the sight of blood!!
Her tired eyes scan the horizon left and right. EURIKA!! she
shouts, as she sees the beloved and gleaming red on white
FASK FASK FASK (flashing) sign.
She runs to it... drops in 20 pounds 4 shillings and a fiver. A
few seconds later she is chatting with a registered nurse.
"He'll be fine!" coos the nurse comfortingly. Just rub some
on it and give him a shot of whiskey. But just in case, there
are all sorts of bandaids, lotions, splints, salves, and
bandages, for sale right there in the FIRST AID SKYPE KIOSK!!
||20 pounds 4 shillings and a fiver? what currency is this?
||Little Nigel is rather accident prone isn't he?
||This won't help much with a drowning Nigel, will it?
||After Lil Nigel, (LiNi to his friends) After he drowns... You can
carry his lifeless carcass to the FASK for some "last aid" to
make sure he looks good at his memorial.
||the popo means the police. It's slang. (kids these days)
||The TV commercials could feature a bulletproof Little Nigel
who miraculously survives each encounter... jellyfish, sharks,
skeet shooting... all due to the wondrous convenience of
FASK, but who finally expires when his mum has but a few
farthings and an old groat for pay.
||any of various medieval European coins, in particular an
English silver coin worth four old pence, issued between 1351