h a l f b a k e r y
Number one on the no-fly list
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Train cats to fly like flying squirrels by fitting them with wing suits from birth.
Since the momma cat already knows how to glide from
branch to branch using the wing suit the was fitted with
birth, she'll presumably show her kittens how to do the
Cats are already pretty good at landing and if you watch
slow motion video, they are very good at righting
and extending their legs out to cushion their
fall. This is the same profile they'd have for a wing suit.
The exhibit would be set up with a series of cat towers
padded for safety that the cats could climb and fly from,
tower to tower like flying squirrels in trees. The
floor would likewise be padded so any missed landing on
an upper tier wouldn't result in any harm to the animal.
Why? Because this would be the star attraction of any
circus, zoo or amusement part.
And why from the cat's perspective? I think that's self
evident. The cats would love it. And after generations of
cats that showed better prowess at flying mating with
other similarly inclined kitties, (obviously better fliers
would get the all the chicks) you'd have created a breed
flying cats, albeit a hybrid of animal and machine unless
you can get into the genetics enough to grow flying
squirrel style wing extensions between the front and
You could also train them by putting them in one of
those indoor skydiving things with air blasting upwards.
Boy will this idea be missing the annotations of a
particular sorely missed Halfbaker.
Fast forward to 1:05.
God, why to people talk so much on their stupid Youtube intros? [doctorremulac3, May 25 2021]
Have one area be like those indoor skydiving things.
[doctorremulac3, May 25 2021]
The towers would be basically like this only much taller and padded.
Cats already know to climb and jump from these, at some point they'd figure out that, with their new wing suits, they could fly between them. [doctorremulac3, May 25 2021]
Well, sort of... it's a bit morbid looking... [neutrinos_shadow, May 26 2021]
Could to a helicopter version with dogs.
[doctorremulac3, May 26 2021]
||A good start. I propose the addition of a cat door
connected to a bungee system to rapidly accelerate
any entering cat up to flight speed. Call it a cat-a-pult.
||Nice. A cat can survive an eight story drop, (hmmmm I wonder if that's where the whole nine lives thing came from?)
||With this invention no inner city pigeon will ever be safe again.
||There you go, a nice little bonus.
||I wonder whether they would intentionally stalk and bring
down small drones, just for fun. Might we occasionally get a
half-dead drone deposited on the doormat, as a gift?
||an instant laugh and an instant bun for great
||When my brother was a little kid he used to fling
our cat across the room to land on the couch. My
dad always said Peter is teaching Ginger to fly!
||[xandram, your brother was far ahead of his time, then.
||I love the idea, and yes, it does reek of borgbait, but then
during his era, I was afraid to even let a feline idea enter into
my thoughts as bakery material. I kind of thought, "why
bother", when it will get eaten up in milliseconds if posted.
||So I welcome the year of the cat. Let's set the place on fire
with original and clever cat escapades.
||//A cat can survive an eight story drop,//
||Cats can survive more or less any drop, it's very likely
heavily dependent on weight. Interestingly, peak
mortality, in terms of number of stories fallen is around 4.
The theory being that above 4 stories they have time to
get themselves organized in the air.
||A suitable borg reply might be: "Flying cats... By
Raytheon. The ideal calibration and testing standard for
the Phalanx Shipborne Close-In Weapons System (CIWS)
available as free-fall air drop or as a discarded sabot
round for a 5" naval gun."
||// Cats can survive more or less any drop //
||So can people. It's fast stop at the bottom that's a problem.
||Okay, I will not admit to laughing at the Prior art link.
Cat: not creepy. Quadcopter: not creepy.
||Cat-quadcopter: Very creepy.
||Cartoon of a dog flying with its tail: cute as heck. (see link)
||Actual stuffed dog with rotor inserted as necessary to create
the linked flying dog: even creepier than the quadcoptercat.