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Flypaper Clothing

Those darn mozzies may land on you, but they'll never get off again
(+1, -1)
  [vote for,

Once again I am back from the hollies with arms and legs covered in insect bites, despite spraying unhealthy levels of Off! all over myself.

Moreover, mosquitoes only bite so they can lay eggs.

So, the next time I go down to the Caribbean, I'm taking my handy flypaper clothing. Just peel off the protective covering, and go stand in the most infested swamp. Those mosquitoes, gnats and sand-flies may land on me, but they won't ever be laying any eggs. (And the canvas is thick enough they won't be biting me through the material.)

DrCurry, Jan 05 2003

Pet Paper http://www.halfbake...per_20(Cat_20Paper)
Prior art (after a fashion), methinks. [8th of 7, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]


       designer label?
po, Jan 05 2003

       Sounds like good Everglades (Florida USA) material to me – so long as the gators don’t stick to it too. +
Shz, Jan 05 2003

       Shz: for that you need our companion product, Alligator Paper.
DrCurry, Jan 05 2003

       Wearing a sticky suit would be pretty entertaining, but it's hard to believe that insects would ever make up a very large proportion of the stuff that would stick to you (or to which you would stick).   

       What's your strategy for avoiding being stuck to amusing things by local teenagers?   

       As far as standing extremely still in the middle of a swamp for long periods goes, I can only observe that your time is your own.
Monkfish, Jan 05 2003

       It always seemed to me that fly paper only attracts more bugs, but doesn't really catch that many. Bending over to tie a shoelace might become rather interesting though.
notme, Jan 05 2003

       Forget tying your shoelace, how about removing the flypaper, now laden with dead or even (shiver) alive insects, trying their best to fly or crawl away? Where would you throw it out? Gross...
lnyav, Jan 06 2003

       Good points: I guess we will produce the clothing in peelable layers, like a lint remover. When the outer layer is full of mosquitoes, teenagers and shoelaces, you simply peel it off. Then you can treat the discarded layer like bubble wrap, hours of amusement from popping each insect in turn, or contentedly watch the bugs slowly starve to death, or just toss it in the trash.
DrCurry, Jan 08 2003

       Electrified bug-zapper clothing would surely be more stylish and exciting.
kropotkin, Jan 08 2003

       News Story: DrCurry arrested for shoplitfing for fourth time in 3 days claiming "I didn't steal anything, I just leaned against the shelf..."
CasaLoco, Jan 08 2003

       [kropotkin] oooh, nice idea ...... good against muggers, too.   

       What you want is a remote-controlled pilotless drone or mini airship which circles just ahead of you, deluging your path with clouds of insecticide.
8th of 7, Jan 08 2003

       Don't think you'll be picking up any swamp-dates coated in gnats and gum. Somehow I picture your head irretrievably connected to the middle of your back by the time you've realized the trap you've dressed yourself up in.
disny, Feb 11 2004


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