Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Four-stroke internal combustion speakers

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To those people who are satisfied with high-wattage electronic amplifiers, I have nothing to say. Nor even to those who enthuse over the incorporation of cannon into the musical, ah, canon. These things are mere tinklings in the world of serious sound. MaxCo. has been working, instead, on some serious sound systems, because we are, like, down width the homies on da street innit?

The prototype four-stroke internal combustion speaker is, in essence, a single-cylinder 500CC petrol engine. Rather than piss about with crankshafts, however, MaxCo has simply welded the bottom of the con-rod directly to the middle of a 2m disc of 1mm mild steel, the rim of which is clamped securely in the housing.

Amplitude is fixed, at about 10cm, but the frequency can be modulated via the accelerator, which in turn is equipped with a MIDI interface. Continuous output is about 85kW at A above middle C. We are working on a V8 version for surround-sound.

It turns out that the sound output comes to a sort of focus at a range of about 12m, directly in front of the speaker. This precise point is exactly the worst place to stand to enjoy the full-throated audio. On the plus side, the unit can also be mounted on a gimbal and used to bring down birds or drones flying through the focal point.

Fuel consumption:
0.8l/album (urban cycle)
1.2l/symphony (motorway)
1.35l/album (heavy metal)

MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 22 2019

Related art. Music starts at 0:53 s. https://www.youtube...watch?v=y5opv-r9nZc
[bs0u0155, Feb 22 2019]

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       85kW from a 500cc single cylinder? You'd need a big turbo or a lot of nitrous.
bs0u0155, Feb 22 2019
  

       We have both as standard. The turbo can be de-selected when low-volume is acceptable, to reduce portamento.
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 22 2019
  

       You might be having a laugh here, but I could seriously see this type of device being used in a studio or in some exciting piece of live performance art.
Size_Mick, Mar 04 2019
  

       Without a crankshaft you'd need some way of returning the piston to the top of the cylinder after each power stroke. Unless the steel disc is meant to act as a return spring? Then the disc will have a certain resonant frequency that will limit your frequency range.
discontinuuity, Mar 10 2019
  

       The disc does indeed provide the return stroke. Fortunately, the resonant frequency of the disc is comfortably above the audio range (due to some clever engineering).   

       By way of analogy, try wiggling a guitar string (or a taut rubber band) back and forth with your finger - it always pushes back, since its resonant frequency is effectively irrelevant given the much lower frequency of your wiggles.
MaxwellBuchanan, Mar 10 2019
  
      
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