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Fractional Gold and Platinum Album Awards

"In honor of selling 100,000 units, you've been awarded 1/5th of a gold record."
  [vote for,

OK, I like this.

Many folks in the music business proudly display their "bowling trophies" (as they're known in the biz) on the wall. A gold record is US sales of 500,000 units, platinum is 1,000,00. Thankfully, gold record awards are still available. I was afraid that with the death of vinyl they'd be totally abandoned ignoring the fact that people don't use gramophones either, but the Grammy award is still traditional.

But what if you sell a few discs but not enough for an award?

Introducing the "Fractional Record Sales Award". If you sold for instance 100,000 units in the US, that's certainly something to be proud of, couple of million dollars in sales is nothing to sneeze at. So why not be able to get your 1/5th gold record? It's just what you'd think, a pie slice looking wedge of a gold record mounted proudly for all to see, complete with an RIAA certificate of "Sales Of One Hundred Thousand Units".

Whoever did this would make a mint, gold record awards aren't cheap. And what would the price be? One fifth that of a full gold record? Guess again. Two fifths? Guess three more times.

doctorremulac3, Feb 15 2020

Music recording certification https://en.wikipedi...rding_certification
Most gold and platinum records are actually vinyl records which have been vacuum metallized and tinted. [Voice, Feb 15 2020]


       There could be an "Internet of Things" opportunity here.   

       The device consists of a framed golden or platinum disc, behind which is a low-power IP-aware motor controller.   

       The visible face of the metal disc is obscured by a slotted disc which matches the surrounding. As the sales increase, the obscuring disc rotates in proportion, uncovering more more and more of the face of the metal disc behind it, starting with a tiny sliver and eventually moving to show the whole thing - vaguely similar to the operation of the moon phase dial of an astronomical clock.
8th of 7, Feb 15 2020

       This idea contains just the right quantity of snide [+]
Voice, Feb 15 2020

       Couple of questions, [doc], since you're the man who'd know. (1) Are "gold" discs actually made of gold, or are they just gold plated, or just gold coloured? (2) Is the "gold" disc an actual recording of the song or album in question? Could you theoretically play it on a turntable?
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 15 2020

       I think it's probably just paint or some kind of non- valuable metallic coating or just gold colored plastic and no. Many hard rock or heavy metal artists have taken their gold or platinum records out of the frame and thrown them on the turntable only to hear Barry Manilow or Captain and Tennille blaring from the speakers, but yes to the last question. I've never done it because they're glued on.   

       That being said, prying your gold record out of the frame and putting it on the turntable is the standard drunk thing to do. Or so I've heard.   

       There are also "gold and platinum" CDs which are incredibly un-impressive. It's a CD.   

       I'll tell one music industry story. I was almost killed in Hitler's old car. My manager survived the Holocaust and became very successful in the music biz. He bought Hitler's old car at auction and took us to lunch in it. Somebody almost slammed into us at very high speed so I almost died in Hitler's old car which would have been un- fortunate on many levels. "Sooo, what was he doing in Hitler's car anyway hmm?".   

       This is my almost car crash story to match your almost backing over Stephen Hawking story. (For those that don't know Max almost killed Stephen Hawking.) (accidentally) (as far as I know)
doctorremulac3, Feb 15 2020

       //He bought Hitler's old car at auction// That is both awesome and disturbing.
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 15 2020

       It was his "Look who's got your car now Hitler!" revenge thing. He enjoyed it. Being a Jewish holocaust survivor nobody accused him of being a fan.   

       Re link: See the "platinum" CD? It's a CD in a frame. About as impressive as you'd think a CD in a frame would be.
doctorremulac3, Feb 15 2020


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