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Frightened Mother's Weekly

So my mom stops calling me every day.
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(+46, -2)
  [vote for,

Ever since I moved out (first to university, and now my first job) my mom has called me at least 4 times a week. Most of the time she mentions some awful story she saw on the news "Young girl found in trash can." "3 young women vanish at bus station." "Goggly eye'd rapist on the loose." Every time she reads about one of these stories she calls me to tell me that I'm in "danger" and to check if my door is locked.

The solution? A publication filled with statics about how safe most of americas young women are. Stories like "Student reads all night." and "Young woman buys CDs and Newspaper." and "No rapists found in dark ally."

I could buy a subscription for my mom and then she'd have lower blood pressure. This could save lives!!

A young men's version should also be available.

futurebird, Jul 18 2001

Kate Adie - War Correspondent http://www.bbc.co.uk/insights/adie.shtml
A role-model for frightened mothers? [Aristotle, Jul 18 2001, last modified Oct 04 2004]


       I would get my mother a subscription. Really good idea. Croissant for you!
snarfyguy, Jul 18 2001

       I tell my mom that I jog during the day with a armed (gay) guard and two german shepherds...
futurebird, Jul 18 2001

       Of course FMW as described would be too boring to read, so to hold your mother's interest, there should be tittilating stories full of lurid details about the dangers of watching or reading sensationalistic "news" stories: "Unwary Mother is Attacked by Giant Radioactive Fruit Flies While Watching/Reading [Insert show or tabloid here]."
beauxeault, Jul 18 2001

       No, because if my mom knew how much I used the net I'd get a phone call for all of those stories about "identity theft" and "young girl lured into ally by THE INTERNET" too ...
futurebird, Jul 18 2001

       Nice one, futurebird.
iuvare, Jul 18 2001

       I worry about my mother. She's getting up in years, you see, and there are so many predatory barstids that take advantage of older folks...I better giver her a phone call right now...No, maybe I'll just read a bit from "Frightened Son's Weekly," it's so reassuring...   

Dog Ed, Jul 20 2001

       Mephista: You are not Kate Adie, AKA the 5th Horsewoman of the Apocalypse, by any chance? (see link)
Aristotle, Jul 20 2001

       I wouldn't mind my mother calling if she was just calling to say hi but instead she's all worried. And I know she tries NOT to call so she's worried even when she's not calling me. I just don't want her to be worried. Also if I happen to leave my cell phone off for a day or two she goes through the roof. (she called the police once to tell them I was missing ...) I just want her to be calm and maybe worry about her flower garden or that ski club she runs instead of me all the time...
futurebird, Jul 20 2001

       Until she opens up the copy of Unpopular Science mailed to her by mistake.
Guy Fox, Jul 20 2001

       The war correspondent idea isn't so good, because then *I'd* have to call my mother every day, maybe "Frightened Daughters of Formerly-Frighted-Now-War-Correspondening Mothers-Weekly" can also be available.
futurebird, Jul 20 2001

       NF (News Flash, or No Fun) -- This Just In   

       Largest multi-agency tactical sweep of the most dangerous U.S. city recovers one discarded knife and a missing pair of sneakers found in a city park. An internet lead is under investigation, but expanding the search to Ybor City has been ruled out.   

       Speculation is rampant that if the missing girl is found, she won't be in very good shape for her disappearance.
reensure, Jul 20 2001

       If I was my mother, I wouldn't trust my roommates or boyfriends to look after me. Quite the opposite.
lewisgirl, Jul 21 2001

       Mephista, I don't mean to say that my mother shouldn't be trusting my boyfriends and roommates to look after me. She might as well, but that's not the point. My dad, who is far more the worrier, is completely satisfied that they brought me up to be an outgoing, fun-loving, risk-taking girl, yet that I have quite enough sense to know what I'm doing. I won't be jogging in parks late at night with my walkman on, and I won't be taking unmarked taxis ("minicabs" - UK) home on my own. They know this and they trust it. My parents know that there's no need for my boyfriends or roommates to be 'looking after' me because I'm quite able to do that myself. Only last weekend I realised it was 3.30am and I was somewhere on Broad Street and all the pubs were closed. My friends were nowhere to be found and there was a black hole where my memory of the past three hours should have been. I won't say what I did next, but hey look - here I am, I've lived to tell the tale. Strangely enough, I was in a strip joint on the same street exactly a week later, with all my friends there too. My point is that I looked after myself far better in the first example than the latter, yet it was the latter that should have been more 'safe', since my friends were there too. I guess you've gotta know who your kids' friends are! (And incidentally, I doubt you'd trust me with your sons - most of my boyfriends' mothers think I'm sweet and lovely, ah, how misguided they are!!)
lewisgirl, Jul 22 2001

       <grins> I'm getting to want to meet you more and more...
StarChaser, Jul 22 2001

       futurebird: Kate Adie is the archetypal female war correspondent here in the UK, which is why I mentioned her. It's simply not a proper war unless Kate Adie has arrived ...
Aristotle, Jul 23 2001

       [lewisgirl] That night you had the blackout wasn't the night you sent all those rude annotations to the HalfBakery was it? :-)
hippo, Aug 21 2001

Voice, Nov 19 2008


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