Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Full Holmesian paranoia

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(+4, -1)
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I seem to have taken to not using the first cubical in the loos in the shopping centre, and always use the second one. Not smoking the first cigarette in the pack etc. Presumably next is not drinking the first cup of coffee.

Promoting this kind of stuff will boost coffee shop trade and shoeleather.

No, this is not a call for a list, as I'll have to delete the first anno and go for the second one.

Unless someone posts two annos and deletes the second one.

not_morrison_rm, Dec 07 2015

The Adventure of the Second Stain https://en.wikipedi...of_the_Second_Stain
A prime example. [8th of 7, Dec 07 2015]

My slightly naff Holmes/ Lovecraft pastiche https://drive.googl...ew?usp=docslist_api
Charles Stross, eat your heart out.. [not_morrison_rm, Dec 13 2015]


       The problem with this, is that:   

       (a) There is no way to identify the first cigarette in a pack and   

       (b) If the first cigarette (were it to be identifiable) is unsmokeable, it follows that the next cigarette is actually the first smokeable cigarette, which means...
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 07 2015

       Am I allowed to read [MB]’s anno above?
pocmloc, Dec 07 2015

       It was my second anno.
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 07 2015

       Prove it.
pocmloc, Dec 07 2015

       It wasn't deleted. QED.
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 07 2015

       "Egad!" exploded Holmes,
"What?! What on earth is the matter?" I retorted bewilderedly, as Holmes sat bolt-upright in his felt- bedraped wing-back, sending motes up the chimney with the violence of his sudden animation.
He gesticulated wildly at the fading screen of his laptop, the text a blur from my position across the room, but the familiarly positioned croissant in the upper-left of the screen giving me the visual queue I needed to understand his outburst.
"Not the halfbakery again?" I sighed, resignedly.
"Much to my regret, yes."
" What on earth is it this week, it's not that one who turned up posting all kinds of stuff left, right and centre again is it?"
"No, I sort of skipped over that, didn't really bother me, much - just a minor annoyance."
"Is it those god-damned orrereys again?"
At this, Holmes tapped his pipe, not in annoyance exactly, his aquiline features giving little away directly, but I sensed something in him tauten, briefly, before fading away.
"No, but it seems that somehow, an idea has been posted, using an ill-judged adjective. Of all the words available in the English language, with its near infinite capacity for expression, depth, and precision; Pray, tell me Watson, what does the word 'Holmesian' ", he paused for breath, " mean to you?"
I was about to reply with my earnest impressions, but he must have felt this previous had been in the rhetorical, because he continued,
"In your experience, Watson, these last few years, of which we have shared our acquaintance, the duringstance through-ought we've solved many a devilish spree, plot, scam or contrivance, have you ever found me to be exhibit superstitious, ritualistic or irrational behaviours the likes of which might be considered paranoiac?"
"There was that time when you spent 5 nights without sleep, fuelled only be nicotine and cocaine, you were kind of twitchy then."
"Yes, yes!" he blurted impatiently, "but even then would you ever consider me to be someone who might, for example, skip the 1st cigarillo in the humidor? Or forgo the first wheeze of opium out of some belief in...I admit it Watson, I have no apprehension as to what drives one to such endeavours - and yet to ascribe such behaviours with a designation such as this - It's quite outrageous!"
zen_tom, Dec 07 2015

       zen-tom, I thought you were Dutch. English fluent, yes, but still a continental. That, however, is a masterpiece. I am especially loving "duringstance". I will now go see if that is really a word. If yes, I have been educated. If not I am delighted that you could coin such an excellent Victorianism.
bungston, Dec 07 2015

       Ha! Not a word! I love it! More Holmesian than Holmes! Well done, sir.
bungston, Dec 07 2015

       I was thinking more Barrett Homes. Of course I wouldn't be buying the first house. Attempting to not use the first zero of the byte does tend to ==-_%//*# unpredictably.
not_morrison_rm, Dec 07 2015

       And yet Holmes by his own admission was guilty of at least one example .... <link>
8th of 7, Dec 07 2015

       id onsider eaving ut he irst etter f ach ord, ut hat ould e illy.
not_morrison_rm, Dec 08 2015

       Hey [Bungston] I used to travel a fair bit with work, so maybe you got the Continental notion that way, I'm quite fascinated by the thought that I might come across as Dutch though - it does seem rather specific for you to have arrived to that conclusion entirely randomly.   

       I'm not sure it's relevant here, but I grew up reading children's and adventure fiction by E. Nesbitt, Robert Louis Stevenson, Kipling, Defoe, Dickens, H.G. Wells, Lewis Carroll, Edward Lear and of course Sir Arthur Ignatius Conan Doyle himself - all of whom share (to some degree) a particular voice, into which I seem to slip all too readily, and this may explain a somewhat anachronistic delivery sometimes.
zen_tom, Dec 09 2015

       <old joke>"Holmes", gasped Watson, "Pray explain why you are forcing citrus fruits up my bottom!"
"A lemon entry, my dear Watson...".</old joke>
hippo, Dec 09 2015

       It makes sense that you are a native English speaker, zen tom. I have you confused with a Dutch baker. Someone will remind me who that is.
bungston, Dec 09 2015

       It is zeno. Same first 3 letters!
bungston, Dec 09 2015

not_morrison_rm, Dec 11 2015

       'sup, Achilles?
pertinax, Dec 13 2015

       Somewhere in the country, Eamon Holmes is on the phone to his lawyers about this idea.
DrBob, Dec 13 2015

       Yes, but is he using the first set of lawyers in the yellow pages...   

       Decided to blight your neurones with my very own Holmes pastiche, see linky etc
not_morrison_rm, Dec 13 2015


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