Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Fume Booth

Solutions for office smokers
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At my office, smokers regularly pop out onto a convenient fire escape for a quick smoke whenever the craving strikes them. It's not good practice at all.

The situation is representative of a common problem. People want to smoke, but they can't smoke at their desks on account of the non-smokers, fire regulations and so on, and they are too lazy to go any distance from their desks anyway.

So I propose the installation of Fume Booths, it could fit in between the snack machine and the soft-drinks dispenser. It would be a bit like a superloo in that and you put 10p (or whatever your fare/currency) into the slot and it admits one.

Inside a tube leads from the booth down to a smoke generator - incinerator-like apparatus with a smoldering fire, upon which tobacco is slowly burnt to produce the desired smoke.

The tube probably has valves to prevent excessive smoke release. The end that the user sees in the booth can be grabbed and applied to the mouth. Inhale deeply to fill your grubby lungs. When you're time is up it cuts off smoke supply blasts you with fresh air and "Febreeze" to get rid of that unpleasant stale smoke smell before you leave. A little dish by the door offers you a breath mint and you can get back to work.

Alternatively. Install smoke pipes at everyone’s desk. If you want to take a toke, just grasp pipe, apply to mouth, breath in and out. Smoke is contained if correct usage procedures are followed.

Alternatively, attach the smoke tube to the smoker helmet, rather like an old-fashioned iron deep-sea diving helmet, which will fill up with smoke for you to inhale at your leisure.

Alternatively, put all your smokers in one office, and the non-smokers in another. The smokers’ office will have smoke pumped in throughout the day via strategically positioned smoke tubes.

I guess my invention is the Smoke Tube, not the Fume Booth after all.

Nadia, Aug 31 2001


       You've sold it to me - especially if it's only 10 pence a go - with the price of ciggies in this country. Mind you I like annoyingmy boss with stale fag smell on my clothes !
CustardCurtains, Aug 31 2001

       Just give me a place to light up that doesn't require me to stand in the cold and/or wet. As far as lost productivity, just look at where I spend all my time anyway.
phoenix, Aug 31 2001

       //There was a bulemic that used her a/c condensation drip tube to pump her own stomach after meals//

Did the a/c drip tube perform both functions on a regular basis?

I'm a tobacco fiend myself - thinking seriously about participating in The Great American Smokeout this Fall - hoping to make it a reality (again)

*lights up another one*
thumbwax, Sep 01 2001


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