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Gang Turf Registry and Arbitration Service

West side is de best
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Gangs are always portrayed in a negative light. You only ever hear about their 'turf wars' and never about the stirling work they perform to the benefit of their communities.

To ameliorate the situation and let gang members devote more of their time to fine arts I propose a central registry of turfs (or is that turves?)

For example the Friendly Gang and the Chummy Gang are in dispute about whose patch the portrait gallery stands in. In the past this would have resulted in a blood bath with multiple deaths and possibly the exchange of witty remarks disparaging peoples attire and choice of literature.

Now with the CRFT in place the dispute can be resolved over a nice pot of tea and maybe some crack cocaine. Each gang can put forward their case as to the historical nature of their claim, call expert witnesses, submit evidence etc.

At the end the Arbitrator will decide the outcome which will be binding but appealable. There may be compromise involved e.g. the Chummy Gang could cede the climbing frame in the park for even dates access to the Portrait gallery.

Another possibility, if no decision can be reached by the Arbitrator could be that the Portrait Gallery could become a demilitarized zone and represent a place where members of opposing gangs could work out their differences.

The final outcome will be recorded in the 'Big book of Hoods'.

rambling_sid, Dec 05 2004

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