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Spider Monkeys, Cat Fish and other genetically engineered pets.
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(+6, -3)
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By now, we've all seen the headlines about Dolly, the cloned sheep, or the glow in the dark rhesus monkey, which was crossed with a jelly-fish.
In today's world, genetically engineered animals aren't just science fiction...they're science fact.
Why not begin manufacturing them as a line of lovable pets for adults, children and families? Companies like Hasbro, Mattel, Speigel and even Alpo could market lines of genetically modified pets to appeal to the consumer.
Here are a few of the most interesting and most obvious ones:
Cat Fish---a cross between a feline and a fish, creating a furry, petable, lovable animal that lives in your aquarium. Fish are boring. Cats are a lot of work. With Cat Fish you've got the ease of caring for a fish with the fun of playing with a kitty.
Of course, it couldn't survive outside its aquarium for more than a few hours, but you could take it into your swimming pool for play sessions.
Spider Monkey....no, not the common spider monkey of the jungles, but a cross between a daddy longlegs and a rhesus monkey.
Eight legs of chittering, chattering monkey shines. Non-poisonous, of course.
Sea Horse- very similar to a cat fish. A fully aquatic version of a palameno. Saddle it up, strap on some scuba gear and ride em' cowboy.
Bird Dog - just imagine. A cross between a peregrine falcon and a laborador retriever. We're stepping close to mythological territory here...sort of like the fabled Griffon of the days of yore, but without the lion. Most of the features of your basic laborador, but with wings and talons. This would be great for hunters. Not only can it retrieve birds shot by pheasant hunters, but it could even pick a few off by itself.
Now, I'm sure you're laughing at these ideas, but we're in the age of genetics and there seems to be little stopping us from moving into this brave new world.
Why not let a company market some of these newfangled pets at price tags of $5,000 to $45,000 each? As they become more mainstream, the price would start to go down too.
Pretty soon, they'd be just as common as parakeets and goldfish. And darn it, they'd be a lot of fun too.
rcornell, Mar 05 2001

Home Dr. Moreau Kit http://www.halfbake...0Dr._20Moreau_20Kit
Same Thing- Hecho En Casa [thumbwax, Mar 05 2001, last modified Oct 04 2004]

Pet Conversions http://www.montypyt...cripts/terrier.php3
Half-baked in the 70s. No genetic engineering required. DogFish: legs off, fins on, stick a little pipe through the back of its neck so it can breathe, bit of gold paint, make good... [macm, Mar 05 2001, last modified Oct 04 2004]

Miniature Cattle http://miniaturebull.com/
Just what the name says [reensure, Jun 28 2002]

Coäts http://www.halfbakery.com/idea/Co_e4ts
That's pretty close to my version! [phoenix, Jun 29 2002, last modified Oct 04 2004]

GloFish http://www.glofish.com/
Fish that glow. Banned in normally-progressive California (for now). [monkeywidget, Oct 04 2004]


       Why stop at animal/animal crosses? Why not corn dogs?
beauxeault, Mar 05 2001

       Or beanie babies?
beauxeault, Mar 05 2001

       I thought about the non-animal crosses. A Reese's Monkey (peanut butter filled) came to mind. So did a gold fish (though it would just sink in the water).
Corn snakes (good breakfast food), Tomato worms and Dogwood Trees also could be popular, but I think the pets would sell for more money than plant/animal crosses.
rcornell, Mar 05 2001

       Where would it go to the bathroom?
salmon, Mar 06 2001

       *yak!* I am not about to bring a grey, basketball-sized furball with gills and nasty bulgy-ass eyes into my swimming pool!! *heave, heave!*
absterge, Mar 08 2001

       does anyone remember the wuzzles[or what ever they were called]?
technobadger, Mar 08 2001

       I'll take one of those Gremlin-Goblin things that came in a box. The name is escaping me.   

       I think it would be fun to have *real* goblins living in your crawl spaces. Heck, you could even engineer their appetites for mice, rats, and other pesky little bugs. But don't blame me if the goblins start gnawing through the drywall to get to the kitchen.
Wes, Mar 08 2001

       Dogs with duck bills; dogs with tusks; dogs with trunks; dogs with beaver tails; dogs with antlers.   

       Hey, with the number of crazy-looking dogs already out there, I think there's a market for this!
Wes, Mar 08 2001

       Baked. See Link.
thumbwax, Mar 08 2001

       How about just stunting the growth of a golden retriever or lab in order to keep it cute and small forever (thus be able to pickup chicks for more than a couple months with it)! Possible?
mccartykj, May 15 2001

       Sure.. just destroy the anterior lobe of the pituitary gland, with a hot sharp needle. No more growth hormone production. The dog might miss having thyroid-stimulating hormone, but you could always give it weekly injections or something. And you don't really want it producing luteinizing hormone anyway, right? It's going to be a puppy forever. Still waiting for you as cute as ever when you get out of prison. If the authorities haven't taken it off you.
Trouvere, Aug 11 2001

       What about rodents engineered to have no discernable features except fuzz? Like tribbles! The reproductive faculty is already there, all you need now is the purring...
alaronshannara, Jun 27 2002

       What about tiny dogs that dont bark for apatment dwellers. and legless cats you can push up against the door if there's a draft. Maybe a dog that shits silver dollars. Just some ideas...
sputnik5, Jun 27 2002

       what about a man-dog?...train him to NOT sprinkle on the commode seat?
jjbetta, Sep 07 2002


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