Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Gillette Toaster

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This is a toaster designed along the marketing model of Gillette Mach 3 razor blades, inkjet printers or Nespresso coffee pods, where the up-front investment is small but they sting you on the refills/bread. It is, of course, a terrible idea, but so plausible that I wouldn't be surprised if someone is planning such a product right now...

It would have hermetically sealed (for freshness, and to maximise the quantity of non- recyclable packaging that has to be thrown away) individual slices. Each slice would be fed (including packaging) into the toaster. The toaster would scan the RFID chip on the packaging to check that it is an authentically branded slice of bread and to set the optimum toasting time. The packaging would be cut off and the bread would then be toasted, the toasting time ending with one of several customisable chimes. All but the most expensive model will play audio adverts during the toasting time.

(Inspired by an [AusCan531] annotation somewhere.)
hippo, Mar 16 2018

Juke_20Box_20Toaster [xenzag, Mar 16 2018]

Higgs toaster Higgs_20toaster
Shameless elf promotion [8th of 7, Mar 19 2018]

[link]






       Me laughed .. bitterly [+]
DDRopDeadly, Mar 16 2018
  

       See cartridge bread in Juke Box Toaster idea.
xenzag, Mar 16 2018
  

       [xen] ah yes, similar, but that's intended to be more convenient for the consumer, whereas this is intended to be more profitable for the manufacturer.
hippo, Mar 16 2018
  

       You could use a multi-blade razor to scrape off the burnt parts.
RayfordSteele, Mar 16 2018
  

       This is blatant,amoral exploitation of the stupid, credulous and status-seeking nouveau riche.   

       Very good, carry on. [+]
8th of 7, Mar 16 2018
  

       I thought this would be a toaster with an extra slot or heating element, hailed as a major innovation.
nineteenthly, Mar 16 2018
  

       Charge an extra 20% for a pink one. Women and gay people love that.   

       (Yes I know that before the war gender colour assignments were reversed and boys used to wear dresses).
bigsleep, Mar 16 2018
  

       // before the war //   

       Did you have any specific war in mind ? There have been quite few, both real and metaphoric.
8th of 7, Mar 19 2018
  

       What D2RD said
Voice, Mar 20 2018
  

       the entire sliced loaf is pre-loaded by the bakery into a reusable cartridge carrier.//[xen] ah yes, similar// The words you meant to say were "yes, it's the same idea as yours ie re-preloading bread into a cartridge, and there's a slice of toast with marmalade on it by way of thanks" Thanks - it's delicious. Ha
xenzag, Mar 20 2018
  
      
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