Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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"Put it on a plate, son. You'll enjoy it more."

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Giuliani's Startling Toupee

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Giuliani's Startling Toupee is modelled to resemble the upper portion of its namesake's iconic head. Anyone wearing it now assumes the characteristics of a mostly bald headed man with some hair fringes around the back of the head and ears.

The big difference between this hairpiece and all others is the pair of tiny ink reservoirs concealed on either side of the temples.

Using a pocket remote control, anyone wearing the toupee can cause the ink to be released so that in the middle of a conversation, it begins gradually running down each side of the face.

I'm really excited to report that one of my toupees has already been in action, as worn by none other than the man himself. Such a living endorsement is certain to ensure a Christmas sell out and the Bangladeshi sweat shops are already taking on new staff in anticipation.

deluxe version comes with white ink to enable Ash (android from Alien) imitations to also be created.

xenzag, Nov 20 2020

Startling toupee in action https://www.theguar...ny-press-conference
[xenzag, Nov 20 2020]

Reminds me of this from the 5th Element https://www.youtube...?v=S-FVii-cRz4&t=48
[zen_tom, Nov 20 2020]

Death in Venice https://www.youtube...watch?v=jEVVXMPUTiA
[xenzag, Nov 20 2020]

could fire downways s'pose Dirigible_20toupee_20cannon
[not_morrison_rm, Nov 28 2020]

Iconic https://www.youtube...watch?v=syyXdBg9BIc
[RayfordSteele, Dec 16 2020]


       ...and a Hallowe'en version where blood starts running down your head
hippo, Nov 20 2020

       Just to make everyone even sicker; Guiliani and __"I"___fill in the blank (you), engaged in wild, animalish, passionate sex and he starts dribbling reddish-brown body fluids on your face and in your eyes.   

       I apologize if you are eating
blissmiss, Nov 28 2020

       Sp: "were eating".   

       Not any more; projectile vomiting supervenes.
8th of 7, Nov 28 2020

blissmiss, Nov 28 2020

       I wonder if he was built before or after the 120 A/2's, and if they every worked out that twitch?
RayfordSteele, Dec 16 2020


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