Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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God Shop

Bespoke Religions to the Gentry
  (+7, -11)
(+7, -11)
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Miraculously, most people have a religious or ethical framework that just happens to match what they want to do. But for people that find themselves out of place, why not a service where a qualified philosopher supplies a coherent and justifiable set of rules that make it a moral necessity for you to do whatever it was you wanted to do anyway? Political systems could be supplied as well.
pfperry, Jun 29 2002

Jesus Christ Superstore http://www.jesuschristsuperstore.net/
As mentioned by Mr. DeGroof (though likely not what he imagined). [mighty_cheese, Jun 30 2002, last modified Oct 04 2004]

The Dept for Religious Enforcement http://www.newadven...g/cathen/08026a.htm
I suggest this as the model constitution for the Dept. After all, if you want official recognition then you have to have properly imposed sanctions for non-compliance with your own rules. [DrBob, Jul 01 2002, last modified Oct 04 2004]


bookworm, Jun 29 2002

       bookworm - wtf? its a guy that thinks up rules and writes them down, whats impossible about that? it wouldnt appear to require the creation of omnipotent beings.
chud, Jun 29 2002

       It's scarcely a WIBNI: people have been doing this for themselves for thousands of years, this just saves you the problem of coming up with your own self-justificatory faith that lets you have sex with lots of young women and take their husbands' money.   

       No more having to bother yourself reading the bible, picking and mixing Eastern faiths, and boring shit like that, just submit a wish list (1. No getting up before midday. 2. All drugs allowed. 3. Lots of purple) and your man will formulate a convincing justification for having to hide yourself from Diablos the demon-god of dawn in your sacred purple vestments (sacred because of the blood of Ar-Agatha, the founder of the faith, who incidentally was a crack dealer in his spare time and also liked brandy a lot).   

       Obviously, fishboned for the social consequences.
pottedstu, Jun 29 2002

       //self-justificatory faith that lets you have sex with lots of young women and take their husbands' money//   

       am I missing something? How do you *get* their husbands' money? Or is this a reference to a news maker that I'm just not getting?
runforrestrun, Jun 29 2002

       The Gigolo Sect
thumbwax, Jun 30 2002

       pottedstu is a gigolo? why would young women need a gigolo? I am sooooo confused.....
runforrestrun, Jun 30 2002

       ¯pfperry: /... most people have a religious or ethical framework that just happens to match what they want to do. .../
How do you figure that?
reensure, Jun 30 2002

       Why not make it a Rationalization Seminar?
phoenix, Jun 30 2002

       People working at the God Shop would have to have attended the Rationalization Seminary.
wiml, Jun 30 2002

       I'm sensing some delicate irony in this idea... a little too close to a rant for comfort. But anyhoo, do we really need to aid people in their lyin' & cheatin' ways?
polartomato, Jul 01 2002

       I went into the god shop and came out with nothing. I just have to figure out what that means.
st3f, Jul 01 2002

       OK, I'm not a gigolo. I was just thinking of your basic standard David Koresh-style religious cult. Obviously it's kind of tricky if everyone can create their own cult allowing them the harem-keeping and the taking money from others, so you'd have to make the God Shop pretty expensive to allow for exclusivity. After all, when most people pick a religion they're going to want to be told they're the cool ass-kicking messiah dude, and if you've too many people thinking that, it's just going to devalue the service for everyone who pays for it. Like with overpriced designer clothes.   

       Did that make any kind of sense?
pottedstu, Jul 01 2002

       I don't think that the God Shop should stop at providing a bespoke ethos. They should also do all the work required to get your new religion officially recognised, otherwise what's the point? This should also bump up the cost a bit, so it should please pottedstu.

Of course, once you start letting people set up their own religions and then giving them official status you'd have to have a government department (let's call it the Department for Religious Enforcement [link added]) to 1. register with and 2. Ensure that those who subscribe to a registered religion comply with it's edicts. Sounds like great fun.
DrBob, Jul 01 2002

       Already been done, it's called the First Assembly Church.
bspollard, Sep 13 2002


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