Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Golf Substitutes

Company that provides stand-in golf players for busy executives.
  (+7, -4)
(+7, -4)
  [vote for,

Are you a top executive of a large company? Taking home a huge wage? Is the smooth running of your multinational company adversely affected by the demands of your social afternoon Golf calendar? This company provides golfing stand-ins to take your place on the golf course, leaving you free to do some bloody work, for a change, rather than swanning off every afternoon to the golf course.
These brightly attired golf stand-ins can be booked to play at any standard, and, so that they don't embarrass your golf buddies, and can even be briefed on your latest business double-dealings, to impress your golfing buddies with lairy tales at the 19th hole.....
Minimal, Jul 08 2005


       makes sense, James.
po, Jul 08 2005

       Doh! Not again!!!
P.S. Don't use my real name!!!
Minimal, Jul 08 2005

       It seems you have two lives, Mr Fidler. By day you work for a... blah blah... help your landlady take out the trash etc.   

       Do they supply a précis of any gossip acquired so that you are fully briefed the next day?
st3f, Jul 08 2005

       Nice agent Smiff [st3f]as for the idea, inspired [+]
zen_tom, Jul 08 2005

       Do I detect a faint whiff of rant? Jealousy?
AbsintheWithoutLeave, Jul 08 2005

       //leaving you free to do some bloody work// nah, not a rant but genuine frustration...
po, Jul 08 2005

       It's a rant, cleverly disguised as a company idea.
Minimal, Jul 08 2005

       ... and I was covering up for you :)
po, Jul 08 2005

       Good lord, my dear chap. One does seem to have mish-mashed one's priorities, Eh? Jeeves informs me that the sensible solution, of course, is to employ a stand in executive, thereby allowing one to spend all day at the club.
Ling, Jul 08 2005

       //arbitrarily withholding bonuses// Ah, an example of two nations divided by a common language - you'll have to explain the meaning of that last word I'm afraid, old chap.
AbsintheWithoutLeave, Jul 08 2005

       The horrible truth of the matter is, that for a great number of businesses, time spent on the golf course is (if not imperative then at least) highly advantageous for the continued success of that business. Yes, contracts may be concluded at in-office signings but they are mooted and promoted and sold on golf courses, in hotels, at corporate jollies up and down your country all the time. Keeping the client happy, in the current fiercely competitive corporate world, requires spending a lot of time making the client or potential contractor feel important.
calum, Jul 09 2005

       i thought executive was latin for 'no work'
benfrost, Jul 09 2005

       //making the client or potential contractor feel important// How anyone can feel important wearing those ridiculous golfing clothes is beyond me. Usually it looks like a Vivienne Westwood delivery truck drove into the front of a clown school.
AbsintheWithoutLeave, Jul 09 2005


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