Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Gopher Hunter

Interactive burrow robot brings video games to life... and death.
  (+6, -1)
(+6, -1)
  [vote for,

“Wanted: Video game experts. Earn money while ridding the world of vermin.”

“Burrow-bot” is a remote controlled vehicle that allows the user to pursue and dispatch gophers, ground squirrels, moles, snakes, and other burrowing critters. The control panel is modeled after a video game console. Video comes from a camera on Burrow-bot while motion and action controls may be via keyboard, joystick, game pad, or other device familiar to the user.

The basic Burrow-bot can be used by environmentalists and other friends of rodents to explore the wonders of their underground neighbors. For the more practical or blood-thirsty, various optional “end-game” attachments are available.

Locomotion: Burrow-bot travels using a method similar to inchworms: a) The rear section locks its position by pressing a strut against the burrow wall. b) The front section is pointed in the direction of travel. c) The front section is pushed forward by a spring steel tape fed from a roll. This material is commonly used in a carpenter’s measuring tape. d) Once the front section reaches its limit or a branch in the burrow, it locks its position. e) The rear section retracts its strut and pulls itself forward by reeling the tape. To return, Burrow-bot will backup by reversing the process.

Communications: The first models would trail wires or optical fiber. In case of failure, Burrow-bot could be pulled out or located.

End-game: What happens when you corner the sucker? - Explosives (of course) - Glue stick (drag him out) - Electrocution - Gas - Inflate a balloon to trap him. - Lethal injection - Any other ideas?

pasodad, Jun 18 2002


       Weapon: .22 short hollow point. Command and control: Magnetic radio. Vision: IR-band CCD camera with illuminator.   

       Sounds like fun !
8th of 7, Jun 18 2002

       I'd rather have a gigantic mallet attached to a powerful pneumatic arm that brings Whack-A-Mole to life. Or Whack-A-Neighbor's-Child, for that matter.
jester, Jun 18 2002

       Brettjs: Hey, guy, want to come to my house to play ? Bring your mallet. Our area has a really bad case of child infestation (but I'm working on it). I think it's the warm weather that brings them out.
8th of 7, Jun 18 2002

       Q: How many HalfBakers does it take to kill a rodent?
A: ?
phoenix, Jun 18 2002

       I have a suspicion that HalfBakers only ever kill horses, by flogging ......
8th of 7, Jun 18 2002

       Those horses were dead when we found them... We swear.
mighty_cheese, Jun 18 2002

       "Honey! Get me that bureau-bot thingamajig. I just accidentally swallowed a fly!"   

       And what UB said.
beauxeault, Jun 18 2002

       call Bill Murray....we are almost ready for "Caddyshack 3: Halfbaked Gophers"....
runforrestrun, Jun 18 2002

       don't talk about Bill Murray like that...
po, Jun 18 2002

       Gopher and ground squirrel burrows are serious hazards for my wife's horses. The plight of a rodent doesn't mean much after you call the vet to "put down" a $10,000 horse with a broken leg.
pasodad, Jun 18 2002

       Oh sorry, we are talking money here - not my subject at all. I am more interested in life, animals of all kinds perhaps even the wife....
po, Jun 18 2002

       I apologize for the drastic change in tone. I was being defensive about looking like a wonton killer and felt I needed to justify my suggestion that yard pests be whacked. Please note that the "end-game" was described as an OPTION. The halfbakery is only for entertainment and I'm sad that I ruined it for so many of you. I'll go away now.
pasodad, Jun 19 2002

       You shouldn't go around murdering Chinese food.
angel, Jun 19 2002

       He didn't say anything about cats...
StarChaser, Jun 19 2002

       Angel: I agree. Violence against Chinese food is wrong. But what is the ethical view of Chop Sueycide ?   

       How about a burrow-bot that lurks in flowerbeds and squirts Tabasco sauce into cat's @rses when they squat down for a crap ? Like a sort of ant lion, or whatever the things that dig the little conical pits are called. I might be able to find room for a small robot in between all the half eaten sparrows, headless mice, turds and pools of wee in my garden.
8th of 7, Jun 19 2002

       I'd imagine .22 would be a bit overkill for gophers. Carrying a suitable quantity of BB pellets would likely be the better choice, and you could likely carry a good deal more ammo.   

       Lethal injection might be a little more economical still.   

       Of course, to be "Sporting" about it, a pair of inch long blades would be the proper weaponry.
ye_river_xiv, Oct 02 2007

       I've lost five tomato plants in the last week to a gopher.   

       I put flares in the tunnel. No success. I flooded it. He's back the next day. I sure wish I could implement this idea.
normzone, Jul 11 2009

       toss a few speakers into the tunnels and play anti-gopher music styles.
FlyingToaster, Jul 11 2009

       Gophers (and other pests) cause significant crop losses annually. Don't we all benefit from the use of at least some forms of pest control on agricultural lands? If a Kansas wheat farmer were to stop using all pesticides, surely that year's crop would be miniscule? And wouldn't we all suffer for it? Now, ornamental/home gardening might be another story.
Gamma48, Jul 12 2009

       yes, thankyou for that short political message. In the meantime, btw, fertilizers and pesticides seep into the groundwater and destroy water basins.
FlyingToaster, Jul 12 2009

       [FlyingToaster] -I've touched on an area close to your heart... not my intent. My apologies.
Gamma48, Jul 13 2009

       I'm pleased to announce that a simple trap did the job. As much fun as the Rodex 4000 looks like, in the future I'll go to traps immediately.   

       I didn't do any of the clever things I'd read - rubbing it with plants, baiting it, burying it, etc. I just placed it in the tunnel mouth and he was history the next morning.
normzone, Jul 13 2009

       [Gamma48] granted, just that there is generally a call for my country to ship our "vast supplies of freshwater" to other parts of the world, ignoring of course that most of those supplies are basin-locked (ie: only local precipitation fills the basin so the water isn't actually renewable); that and people (and fauna) have actually died not only from pesticides that have gotten into the water table, but from bacteria that happily grows on the fertilizers that gets in as well.
FlyingToaster, Jul 13 2009


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