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Great Glass Rupert Bear Trousers

Great Glass Rupert Bear Trousers (for children)
 
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This one is more a matter of taste, I suppose, and represents a marrying of one poor idea with one great one, I reckon.

I have always felt particularly ill at ease with Rupert Bear's trousers. They are at once tasteless and creepy. However, he is a fictional character - I know this.

The real negative effect on me comes when I see children wearing Rupert Bear trousers. It is just so wrong.

On the other hand, I know this will never change. So I would like to see Rupert Bear trousers made more magical by engineering each trouser panel or 'check' to bear a small button and a label, which when pressed would produce something joyous to the child.

This is analogous to the many wonderful buttons lining the Great Glass Elevator in the much-loved novel 'Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator', which I studied as a child.

So, each panel on the Rupert Bear trousers of a small child would be capable of manufacturing a chocolate vegetable, or a pillow filled with hamburgers, or a sugary drink, or a new dog. Or suchlike. And each panel could be removed and replaced with one that produced something even better.

And so on.

eehen, Nov 27 2002

For [blissy] http://www.see.ed.a.../rupert/frames.html
[angel, Oct 04 2004]

[link]






       (linky)
angel, Nov 27 2002
  

       Why only for children? I imagine that grown men, women and ladymen would just as likely be entranced and uplifted by such a fine pair of trousers.
my face your, Nov 27 2002
  

       I suppose it's only because they would be cheaper to engineer for children. Fewer magical panels, so less wire and fuses etc. to buy.   

       But you're right.
eehen, Nov 27 2002
  

       You would. (How to spot an American in Britain: look for the plaid trousers.)
DrCurry, Nov 27 2002
  

       I think Rupert's ghastly dress sense is an unconscious psychological attempt to dissuade the advances of those perverted people he regularly comes into contact with and who take a very unnatural interest in our young friend.
po, Nov 27 2002
  

       Rupert being a ghost would explain him in his entirety.
eehen, Nov 27 2002
  

       It's sad, I know, but this idea just brings out the old cynic in me. You just know that the manufactured version of these trousers would produce nothing but a collection of badly produced and unidentifiable plastic animals, strange, tinny noises and sweets with more silver paper on them than chocolate.
DrBob, Nov 28 2002
  

       Nooo! Please stop DrBob. Please stop. Will someone please make him stop? It will dispense custard owls and brightly coloured sugar sticks that can be reconfigured into a thousand different flavours...I know it will. Please...?
Ludwig, Nov 28 2002
  

       Ludwig: please post Custard Owl as a new idea. I for one shall consider voting it a croissant.   

       Is it an owl bathed in custard, or custard embedded in an owl? Or is it something else entirely?   

       Please tell me, for I want to know.
eehen, Nov 28 2002
  

       I suspect is is merely a missing "B" - Custard Bowls are Baked. Custard Bowels would be a quite different thing, however.........
8th of 7, Nov 28 2002
  

       Custard Bowels would be an excellent description for something quite baked unfortunately. My intention was always to get a custard owl from my pair of aforementioned trousers.   

       I was about to describe one precisely for you eehen, but then I thought nothing could compare to the hazy concept of sweet owlishness you already have. I do aplogise for taking this easy option.
Ludwig, Nov 28 2002
  

       Oh go on, please .... we're all waiting ....
8th of 7, Nov 28 2002
  
      
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