h a l f b a k e r y
This would work fine, except in terms of success.
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grinds teeth and shuts up noisy children
I remember a sweet we used to get when we were
called a Gobstopper. It was a large hard ball, which
filled the mouth, but gradually reduced in
size as you sucked on its sugary substance (now you why
teeth are 80% amalgam fillings)
The idea of the newest version of this evil
confectionary, is that instead of reducing in size, it
actually gets larger. (but only for about half an hour,
it gets smaller) It does this because of its very tasty but
harmless chemical coating, which swells up in contact
an enzyme contained in human saliva.
The net effect of
this is, that once it swells to its limit,
it cannot be take out, as it more or less fills the mouth
of an average child. This results in preventing the
otherwise noisy child from engaging in further
conversation. ie their gub has been stopped.
Gubstopper is also on the end of a stick, so that a
child can swivel the stick around using their tongue, and
point to things, instead of chattering incessantly.
Delux version has a length of chain attached to end of
stick, so that mumbling child can be led around on a
ha - they still make them! [xenzag, May 23 2012]
Shut your gob
pronounced as "shut yer gub" where I live. [xenzag, May 23 2012]
||This is an idea entirely unlacking in merit.
||I suppose some sort of starch ingredient may have this effect when exposed to water
||This sounds like an 8th idea. Are sure you aren't him
||Not one of ours, but we wish it were. Have a bun, but be careful, it may swell if you eat it ...
||Sounds fine but I foresee torrents of drool pouring
||// This sounds like an 8th idea. Are sure you aren't him in
||It would have to be a very well-padded disguise.