Haemorrhoid Barre

A barre, with mirror behind, as you would expect, to be fitted within or wheeled into your bathroom, in order to give you the opportunity for full on first hand inspection of your haemorrhoid-ravaged downstairs, such that when you can sweep your hand gracefully down from the third position, through the second until the, arf, preparatory position where your graceful fingers, either endolloped with Preparation H or lightly clutching the required suppository, can flow elegantly right up or around your anus as appropriate, minimising waste and misdeployment.