Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Haemorrhoid Barre

En garde!
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(+3, -1)
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A barre, with mirror behind, as you would expect, to be fitted within or wheeled into your bathroom, in order to give you the opportunity for full on first hand inspection of your haemorrhoid-ravaged downstairs, such that when you can sweep your hand gracefully down from the third position, through the second until the, arf, preparatory position where your graceful fingers, either endolloped with Preparation H or lightly clutching the required suppository, can flow elegantly right up or around your anus as appropriate, minimising waste and misdeployment.
calum, May 26 2009


       The squat-happy French might choose to implement a parallel bathroom device using mirrored floor tiles.   

       Also, for the elderly, a Stannah motorised barre might be employed to gently raise otherwise stiff and puffy limbs for the facilitation of considered anal self-examination.
zen_tom, May 26 2009

       Mightn't this idea, along with chocolate snack theft, cappuccino preparation accreditation programmes and mispronounced grizzly-creature communication schemes only work to diminish the exclusivity of the qualificationary niche that previously only those wishing to join the judiciary might normally occupy?   

       The achievement of "taking the bar" is thus democratised (at least to those wishing to study their own bottoms)   

       [edit - much later] Having heard something on the radio this morning, I learnt that I could have also added the makers of Irn Bru to my previous list.
zen_tom, May 26 2009

       Did you know that "Anal Skew" is an anagram?
Ling, May 27 2009

       What out for c sharp in the third movement!   

       Caution! Objects in the mirror appear closer.
4whom, May 27 2009

       Alas, there are no Ballet Schools specific to Chalfont St Giles.
gnomethang, May 27 2009


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