Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Hammer Virus

Tricks people into hitting themselves with a hammer
  (+4, -11)(+4, -11)
(+4, -11)
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A computer virus may be in the form of a message which, if believed, causes the reader to unknowingly take action causing harm to himself or others.

The hammer virus is a similar hoax carried out in the physical world. The hammer virus author writes a message on a hammer designed to hopefully cause the reader to hit himself with it.

Hammer Virus 1: "If you hit yourself on the head with this hammer once, I will hit myself on the head with a hammer twice."

Hammer Virus 2: "For a drug free high, consider the little known mood-enhancing effect of gently tapping the Duncile Conjunction of the skull with this hammer."

Hammer Virus 3: "New self-test found for hereditary susceptibility to Alzheimers. ..."

Hammer Virus 4: "For centuries, carpenters have tested the properties of a hammer by gently tapping themselves on the side of the head with it. ..."

Hammer Virus 5: 'Fire walking is well known but painless head hammering is less heard of. ..."

Self-replication of the virus is as with any myth or hoax.

Knock yourself out with this.

Mustardface, Jan 08 2005

Funniest Joke in the World http://www.jumpstat...dy/python/joke.html
Causes death by laughing [zen_tom, Jan 08 2005]

Tho, you think you're thor. http://www.ensemble...ndex_files/Thor.jpg
[2 fries shy of a happy meal, Jan 08 2005]

I heart Huckabees (2004) http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0356721/
In one scene, the two protagonists hit each other in the face with a big ball in a quest for enlightening. [jutta, Jan 09 2005]

Antivirus http://www.pricepoi...1-Mullet-Helmet.htm
The Mullet Helmet [reensure, Jan 09 2005]


       OH! Bloody heads!
my-nep, Jan 08 2005

       "I got utterly smashed last night..."
RayfordSteele, Jan 08 2005

       Chuck Palaniuck's book 'Lullaby' has a kind of real-world virus. A spate of cot deaths occurs and the reporter investigating them discovers that all the children had been read to from the same book the night before they died.
It turns out that one of the stories in the collection is some ancient native-american type death-song, and reciting it to someone causes their death.
He sets out to destroy all the books, but can't stop himself from reading the words of the story. Unfortunately it turns out that reciting the words in your head are enough for them to have an effect, which he discovers to unfortunate consequence.
Similar also to Monty Python's 'The Funniest Joke in the World [link] which was supposedly translated into German to render it safe to the Tommies, while causing multiple casualies on the German side...

       Wenn ist das Nunstruck git und Slotermeyer? Ja!... Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!
zen_tom, Jan 08 2005

       I give M the benefit of the doubt: this is a spoof of "real world viruses" such as Ponzi / pyramid schemes, where people financially hit themselves in the head with a hammer.
bungston, Jan 08 2005

       This still needs work in the "self-replication" area.   

       Things don't self-replicate just because they're stories; there are special kinds of stories that do this - ones that confirm a moral point, and are predictable and surprising in the right places.   

       But even if you fix that, you're really hampered by having only one hammer - that limits you to linear spread. You'll want people to go buy their own hammers to hit themselves with, and then talk their friends into buying their own. It would have to be pretty much like cigarettes.
jutta, Jan 09 2005

       Nicotine enhanced hammers, for the perfect hit.
calum, Jan 09 2005

       "Duncile Conjunction" heh.
reensure, Jan 09 2005

       I wouldn't think that it would work, but then again, it's easy to underestimate idiots...
Quantum_P, Jan 09 2005


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