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This is a combination of luminous neon balloons and
Insufflate the large bowel with neon. Launch five tiny
helicopter drones powered by positronic-electronic
annihilation and guide each into a strategic position in the
colon: one just before the sigmoid, one at the distal
of the descending colon, one on each side of the transverse
colon and one just distal to the caecum. As they hover in
position, each shoots a beam of leptons along the line of
sight to adjacent drones, thereby causing ionisation and
luminous neon. Use the neon to illuminate one's
surroundings if one lacks a handy light source of another
Clearly the positrons would have to be very limited in
quantity but the problem of not being able to close a
circuit would be solved (and I'm not sure that was a real
problem because lightning). They can be harvested from
the ionosphere during thunderstorms and stored in
magnetic bottles inside the drones.
Helicopters are a convenient mode of transport. Rather
than having to manufacture them, allow them to
reproduce sexually and grow by storing genome-like
information in helices of silica units containing extra atoms
as codons. This could produce single-piece helicopters
which grow in a silicon-rich broth, eat and excrete like
animals, and lay helicopter eggs containing more silicon-
rich broth gradually being assembled into baby helicopters
which then hatch out and grow. These helicopters would
spin rapidly like sycamore seeds, but a gimbal-based seat
could be used to house passengers.
If something goes wrong with these helicopters, simply
diagnose the problem by giving them enemas and inserting
|This is bad and wrong on so many levels .... [-]
|But is it interestingly wrong on any of those levels, [ of ]?
|This entire idea simply seems to be an excuse to use the word "enema" a lot.
|Well I could just have posted an idea consisting of the word
"enema" repeated a few hundred times but it would've been
marginally more annoying than this one.
|You do know, I presume, that there are people who will gratify almost any desire for a fee? Just in case you're at a loose end.
|So not a screw shaped enema that moves upwards on gut
contractions before dissolving
|Way ahead of you on that one [MB]!
|I know. I get a percentage.