This seems to make things rather difficult. What if Hell actually does freeze over, and I won't know about it? What I propose is Hell's thermometer, a thermometer to figure the exact moment of Hell freezing over, and then I can borrow my (theoretical)
tenner.

My 'thermometer' is just a statistics machine, and will measure things such as:
How many kids passing high school (over an estimate of how many children who are meant to be in high school)
Rate of crime
Number of teachers
Death rates (those who died from violence, drugs, war, etc, over number of people dying overall)
Number of people in prison
Employment rates

And so on.

The 'Thermometer' will have a scale where the 'temperature' will rise for the amount of crime, etc, but they can be cancelled out by number of doctors, etc

Once the temperature has sunk to 0C, Hell (in theory) will have frozen over.

It could make a good website, you could just sit there and watch the temperature increasing and decreasing, with discussions on what caused it to go up (or down).

//The 'Thermometer' will have a scale where the 'temperature' will rise for the amount of crime, etc, but they can be cancelled out by number of doctors, etc//

I love this idea! It should be done now. I imagine a long complicated formula to work it out, but yes, absolutely there should be a website. Also, maybe something about the aerodynamic properties of Sus scrofa?