Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Herb Gun

Shoot that fragrant arrow....
  [vote for,

Recently, I was made aware that tornado-strength winds can propel straw into trees. This is quite cool. This got me thinking about the possibility of driving other plant- derived products into one another for the purposes of good, clean, family fun.

Now, Rosemary is quite a spiky herb. It also works well when scattered liberally over and around potatoes while roasting. Over and around. Not THROUGH. Through is often better, so, a kitchen gadget consisting of a high pressure gas supply, a trigger and a barrel would be appropriate here. Something like a paintball gun. Although paintball guns only hit about 200 mph, a tame tornado. So a souped-up paintball gun then. Let's face it, cloves and peppercorns have always looked more like ammunition than food anyway.

Once constructed, this gun will of course require some research and development. I expect issues with propellant blow-past. For this reason a sabot, made of potato or perhaps beef dripping would be ideal. Then we can all go about liberally embedding herbs, or mixed ammunition, like a full bouquet garnet, into whatever we see fit.

Perhaps the best consequence of this device will be to bring phrases like "shrapnel", "recoil", "un-commanded discharge", and "tactical thyme" into the common kitchen vernacular.

bs0u0155, Dec 12 2013

Who broke my heart? You did, you did... http://www.youtube....watch?v=El56LobK7_g
[normzone, Dec 12 2013]

88 mm - combine butchering and spicing in one fell swoop https://www.google....iletype=&as_rights=
[normzone, Dec 12 2013]

Light gas gun http://en.wikipedia.../wiki/Light_gas_gun
[normzone, Dec 16 2013]

Lead from bullets http://www.ncbi.nlm...rticles/PMC1352636/
[bs0u0155, Dec 16 2013]

Season Shot http://www.seasonshot.com/Home.cfm
It's shot made from seasoning. [Alterother, Dec 17 2013]

Guerilla Gardening http://weburbanist....-with-flower-seeds/
And this is what you use when you want to randomly plant your herbs for later seasoning your food. [jurist, Dec 21 2013]

Plant your spices the same way. http://www.flowershell.com/
[AusCan531, Dec 22 2013]


       That's a nail-gun like motif. This is has a little more range. In fact, you can invest in the 88 mm if you need a whole cow doing.
bs0u0155, Dec 12 2013

       This is probably the best ever halfbakery food idea.   

       The BorgCo R&D facilities and test range are at your complete disposal, free of charge.   

       Lock and load !   

8th of 7, Dec 12 2013

       I never finished my steam powered popcorn gun prototype, or the associated murder mystery story. Issues with availability of butter in the correct gauge, and PSI limits vs popcorn response rates hindered the project.   

       You could talk to [Alterother] re his experiments with firing flower seeds out of firearms cartridges for reference information.
normzone, Dec 12 2013

       Is the subtitle an ABC reference?
hippo, Dec 12 2013

       now, would corn kernels, embedded deeply within chicken produce a nice explosive effect when baked? Sort of internally tenderized popcorn chicken.
bs0u0155, Dec 12 2013

       //Is the subtitle an ABC reference?//   

       If I said "yes" it would cease to be subtle... sorry subtitle ;-)
bs0u0155, Dec 12 2013

       //Recently, I was made aware that tornado- strength winds can propel straw into trees. This is quite cool. //   

       It is also quite untrue. I'm sure we had this debate on another idea here, but a straw will not stick into a solid piece of wood, however hard you blow it. By the same token, if a tree is blown into a piece of straw, the straw will come off worst.   

       That's not to say, though, that cloves and peppercorns can't be used as buckshot for a piece of meat. [+]
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 12 2013

       //It is also quite untrue. I'm sure we had this debate on another idea here, but a straw will not stick into a solid piece of wood, however hard you blow it. By the same token, if a tree is blown into a piece of straw, the straw will come off worst.//   

       No, that was 2x4 wood into concrete. Straw is slightly more plausible, although I've since youtube edumacated myself via the medium of air-cannon equipped Mythbusters. Straw will stick into a tree, a 1/4 inch, at 300 mph.   

       I need rosemary into potatoes and mustard seeds into beef. and I refuse to be limited to 300mph.
bs0u0155, Dec 12 2013

       I wouldn't doubt the straw into wood, based on my viewing of lightning-struck rotten oak twig driven into a seasoned 2x4.
normzone, Dec 12 2013

       // I refuse to be limited to 300mph //   

       300 mph is less than half of the speed of sound in air at mean sea level. Even a garden-variety 12-gauge shotgun achieves a muzzle velocity of around 300 m/s, which is just subsonic.   

       The Krupps 8.8cm FlaK 36 has a muzzle velocity of around 860 m/s with standard time-fused AA ammunition.
8th of 7, Dec 12 2013

       And why is the sea level always mean anyways? Is it nature, nurture, or a legitimate response to conditions?
normzone, Dec 12 2013

       // why is the sea level always mean //   

       Because it got out of its bed on the wrong side, of course.   

       <makes note to buy better quality Christmas crackers next year, even if they're more expensive>
8th of 7, Dec 12 2013

       We always do. No BorgCo Christmas cracker or party popper has ever failed to go off as intended, as the survivors often point out to the coroner.   

       The fact that not only are our crackers painted olive drab, instead of shiny Christmassy colours, but also require a pin to be pulled before use, should be a sufficient warning.
8th of 7, Dec 12 2013

       [+] I'll take a double-barrel shotgun, please.
xandram, Dec 13 2013

       "Black pepper sir?"..... "booom!!" "funny really, it's white pepper when we load it...."
bs0u0155, Dec 13 2013

       Regarding hurricane-assisted straw-tree integration, I've seen it suggested that what happens is - in the high wind, the tree bends, and splits along the grain to some extent. This means straw can get in, which is is then trapped when the wind drops and the tree straightens.
Loris, Dec 13 2013

       //Regarding hurricane-assisted straw-tree integration//   

       There are not enough sentences that start like this.
bs0u0155, Dec 13 2013

       My dad who was a radio man in Korea during the war told me that he was supposed to put a thermite grenade on his radio should they be overrun so the enemy couldn't capture it.   

       Can you use a little sodium in your seasoning to...   

       Ok, I'll post the idea. I like this one.
doctorremulac3, Dec 13 2013

       If enough 'bakers express sufficient interest I'll handload some straw bullets, but all my trees are frozen and I'm _not_ testing this one inside.
Alterother, Dec 13 2013

       <expresses plenty of interest, hopes it is sufficient>
pocmloc, Dec 13 2013

       //Regarding hurricane-assisted straw-tree integration,//   

       That sounds plausible. It's not completely inconceivable that a straw could penetrate wood, but it would have to hit the wood exactly square- on and, even then, I doubt it. As I mentioned earlier, you should be able to get the same result by hitting a straw with a piece of wood.   

       I'm pretty sure I could poke a few hundred pieces of straw into the crevices of a tree.
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 13 2013

       //If enough 'bakers express sufficient interest I'll handload some straw bullets, but all my trees are frozen and I'm _not_ testing this one inside.//   

       while you're at it, a shotgun cartridge full of cloves perhaps?
bs0u0155, Dec 13 2013

       //If enough 'bakers express sufficient interest I'll handload some straw bullets//   

       Count me amongst the interested too.   

       Do you think this will accelerate the straw without destroying it? Personally I'm imagining a little cloud of straw-dust puffing pathetically from the muzzle... but then, I know nothing about guns.
Wrongfellow, Dec 13 2013

       I predict the same result, [Wrongfellow], but the burden of my commitment requires that I conduct the tests for Science. This one may be...interesting.   

       I think I heard a call for a shotgun load, which would be my first approach. Any other requests?
Alterother, Dec 13 2013

       Another interesting test would be to fire a load of wooden cocktail sticks at a hardwood surface.
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 13 2013

       Or metal at a metal surface? I think bullets just poke into the crevices though.
bs0u0155, Dec 13 2013

       I will not be using a hardwood target. I'm only willing to shoot into pine or spruce at close range.   

       Metal on metal is right out. That's a long-range only trick.
Alterother, Dec 13 2013

       Well then, try matchsticks into spruce.
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 13 2013

       So I've got straw, matchsticks, and whole cloves. Anything else?
Alterother, Dec 13 2013

8th of 7, Dec 13 2013

       I'm guessing you could get a bonsai tree into an 88...just add some tinsel and the ideal long-range yuletide gift.
not_morrison_rm, Dec 13 2013

       Just to make it clear, I'll shoot seasonings into meat but I'm not going to eat any of it.
Alterother, Dec 14 2013

       bah! I've picked shot out of rabbit before..
bs0u0155, Dec 14 2013

       So have I, do so routinely. I've also bitten down on a whole clove and I don't care to repeat the experience. And I hate pepper.
Alterother, Dec 14 2013

       //And I hate pepper// I have genuinely never encountered that before.
bs0u0155, Dec 14 2013

       Just black pepper, the table seasoning. I'm a huge fan of all forms and applications of the vegetable.
Alterother, Dec 14 2013

       // the table seasoning //   

       There's your mistake, right there. Try it on food instead. Nothing you put on a table is going to ameliorate that tough texture and woody flavour.
8th of 7, Dec 14 2013

       This is also why table wines are not considered as good as the alternatives, I've heard grapes are superior.
bs0u0155, Dec 14 2013

       I don't like wine, either. Except cherry wine.   

       This experiment is already presenting difficulties.
Alterother, Dec 15 2013

       how about just an icepik, poke a hole through, then poke your rosemary into said hole?   

       Much easier, no?
EdwinBakery, Dec 15 2013

       // icepik //   

       "Ahhhh, viande a la Trotsky, merveilleuse …"
8th of 7, Dec 15 2013

       // Much easier, no? //   

       With sincere respect, I believe you have entirely misunderstood the Idea. This isn't about making cooking easier, it's about introducing high-velocity projectiles to the kitchen.
Alterother, Dec 15 2013

       Just stumbled on this. I can just imagine having an enormous light gas gun setup in the kitchen, living room, (and probably out on the balcony as well), pointed at a puny little lamb roast, loaded with rosemary twigs. Awesome.   

       Light gas gun. What you need is a light gas gun. I honestly think you could brumby one up pretty easily, although the local authorites might take issue with its existence.
Custardguts, Dec 15 2013

       I haven't done any serious testing yet, but I was measuring some peppercorns when I found a whole bunch of them that were exactly .17", so I loaded them into my Tech Force 99 air rifle and shot them at some thawed chicken that's been in the freezer longer than it was actually alive. They shot pretty well, terminal performance similar to BBs, about 3/4" to 1" penetration at 40'. I don't own a chronograph so I can't give you a certain figure on muzzle velocity, but the TF99 spits out .17 cal lead pellets at 850- 900 f.p.s. so I'm estimating at least 500 with the peppercorns.   

       Experiments are ongoing, though they may be briefly suspended due to other people's holiday plans. With any luck, that is.
Alterother, Dec 16 2013

       What could be more quintessentially American than an ovoid ham being tossed spinning across a field, back and forth between the two most meatfacedly "athletic" members of your family? Yes, pink cheeks, breath fogging, exertion sweating up their safety goggles, heavy boots crunching the frostwhite lawn, ornery uncles and those of the nephews who are just about biddable each blasting away at the airborne joint, a skittering, arrhythmic fart of herbgunfire breaking the winter silence, all in the name of keeping alive this most traditional techniques of meat-seasoning.
calum, Dec 16 2013

       I wonder if a herb gun would be powerful and accurate enough to kill an animal. For example, wild rabbits are usually killed with a shotgun, but could they instead be killed by a blast of high-velocity thyme and lemon zest (traditional seasonings for rabbit)? Actually, including a small amount of finely chopped bacon in the projectile cloud would add to the flavour too.
hippo, Dec 16 2013

       A bouquet garni grenade maybe? The explosion would hopefully tenderise the meat, too.
calum, Dec 16 2013

       "bouquet garnade"?
hippo, Dec 16 2013

       I was quite hoping someone would add some bacon.
RayfordSteele, Dec 16 2013

       Well, you need it because wild rabbit is a very lean meat and needs some baconny goodness to add succulence.
hippo, Dec 16 2013

       Well, there is a movement afoot to eliminate lead as a hunting load due to problems with consumption by humans and other animals, as well as lead poisoning in animals only slightly grazed by shot loads.   

       I imagine a thyme and salt graze wound would be painful, but I see a promising market for custom spice loaded ammunition - it can't be any less popular than the copper they are switching to.
normzone, Dec 16 2013

       Does a lead pellet actually really truly cause lead poisoning if embedded in flesh? Most domestic water pipes were made of lead for a long time. When people got worried about lead, they tested to see how much leached from lead pipes and concluded that it wasn't really a problem - at least not enough to justify replacing existing lead pipes. Not sure how lead reacts in the body though - more salts and stuff.
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 16 2013

       I think the problems were from children eating paint... which arguably highlights a pre-existing condition.
FlyingToaster, Dec 16 2013

       Yes, that makes sense, since paint would contain lead salts which are readily soluble. Which still leaves me wondering if lead pellets in flesh would cause "lead poisoning".
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 16 2013

       I may have to plead no contest to one charge of getting carried away while posting. A read of wikipedia says that lead can be absorbed through the skin, but does not directly address having some stuck inside you.
normzone, Dec 16 2013

       "I love the smell of napalm in the morning. Smells like... breakfast."   

       I (vaguely) remember a GCSE question about how eating lead fishing weights kills geese. Apparently, a common answer was "It makes them sink."
Loris, Dec 16 2013

       It does happen <link> but seems pretty rare, considering the amount of people who came back from the two world wars with fairly big chunks of lead in them, I think it's probably hypersensitivity really.
bs0u0155, Dec 16 2013

       I love the 'bakery, where it's educational to be mistaken.   

       " Perhaps the best consequence of this device will be to bring phrases like "shrapnel", "recoil", "un-commanded discharge", and "tactical thyme" into the common kitchen vernacular "   

       I have see powdered chiles inadvertantly used for area denial - eye protection and dust/mist masks may be advised.
normzone, Dec 16 2013

       Lead shot kills waterfoul who dabble along the bottom of heavily hunted swamps and ponds. A pellet or two sucked into the gizzard will stay there and cause all kinds of problems. It seems improbable but it's acually a serious problem. Maine was among the first states to ban lead shot.   

       Also, there are (or were) available on the open market shotgun shells that fire pellets of highly compressed herbs and seasonings instead of metal.   

       I hope that clears some things up.
Alterother, Dec 16 2013

       // there are (or were) available on the open market shotgun shells that fire pellets of highly compressed herbs and seasonings instead of metal.// I trust that a link will be forthcoming?
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 16 2013

       //I trust that a link will be forthcoming?//   

       All in good thyme.
AusCan531, Dec 16 2013

       Ask and ye shall be peppered. <link>
Alterother, Dec 17 2013

       Oh wow.
bs0u0155, Dec 17 2013

       //powdered chiles used for area denial//   

       I bought some diatomaceous earth to give a shot at non-chemical flea control on the cats. It's non-poisonous so why not. What's not mentioned on the box is that DE is a medium-quality itching powder which _very_ easily becomes airborne where it lingers as an eye irritant for hours afterwards.
FlyingToaster, Dec 21 2013

       It's also an excellent ingredient for homemade polishing compound.
Alterother, Dec 22 2013

       So, if lead shot is dangerous to wildlife, we could start hunting with the tougher herbs and spices? "You should have seen it, man. He took that goose down with a single load of rosemary."
st3f, Dec 22 2013

       That's what I'm going to find out, when I have a free minute.
Alterother, Dec 22 2013

       From the link: "Season Shot is made of tightly packed seasoning bound by a fully biodegradable food product."   

       Well, somehow that just falls short of whetting my appetite.
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 22 2013

       Someone has come up with a similar way of sourcing the herbs and spices too. [Link]
AusCan531, Dec 22 2013

       You mean I did all that handloading for nothing?!
Alterother, Dec 23 2013


       "You mean I did all that hand loading for nothing?!"
normzone, Dec 23 2013


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