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Higgs Bonus

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It's coming up to that time of year when the parasite bankers, and many others get their obscene bonuses.

This year there is a new one on offer called the Higgs Bonus. You get it for proving that the smallest most insignificant action you have undertaken is actually the catalyst to the success of an entire structure.

It is naturally very difficult to prove that simply (for example) moving a wastepaper basket with the edge of your foot one day caused the entire global airline industry to use 0.5% less fuel, but given the right group of scientific experts and enough computing power, the Higgs Bonus could be yours.

xenzag, Dec 13 2011

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       // the right group of scientific experts and enough computing power //   

       All on the company dime, I assume?
Alterother, Dec 13 2011
  

       The newsreader on BBC Radio4 this afternoon was explaining how they'd found the first evidence for the existence of the "Higgs Bosun".
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 13 2011
  

       Actually, they found the elusive particle in Montana. They named it the Higgs Bozeman Particle.
Klaatu, Dec 14 2011
  

       The Standard Model calls for obscene bonuses for those that are able to observe them.
theircompetitor, Dec 14 2011
  

       Fine, fine, yes, great, do we get to shut the cat in the box now?   

       Hmmm.   

       "Royal Institution Christmas Lectures. This year, the theme is 'Physiology, Uncertainty and Quantum Theory- how long can a cat survive in a completely sealed box?' Please bring a cat, if possible. Answer will be given at the start of next year's lectures."
8th of 7, Dec 14 2011
  

       Max - timing is everything.
xenzag, Dec 14 2011
  

       I wonder if timing is everything.
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 14 2011
  

       If you're a bathroom fitter, tiling is everything.
hippo, Dec 14 2011
  

       If you're a nit picker, filing is everything.
xenzag, Dec 14 2011
  

       If you're a pedant, quibbling is almost everything, but not quite, because there will always be some things that look very like quibbling but on closer inspection actually aren't.
8th of 7, Dec 14 2011
  

       I did, but I found that it left me no room for discovery, since adding anything completely unbalanced everything else.
RayfordSteele, Dec 14 2011
  

       Certainly a much better place to store it than in a bank.
Alterother, Dec 14 2011
  

       // things that look very like quibbling but on closer inspection actually aren't//   

       Such as quibbilng.
mouseposture, Dec 14 2011
  
      
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