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High Heel Shoes Aircraft Escape Slide Enablers

high heel shoe attachment
  [vote for,

"In the event of an emergency, escape slides will be automatically deployed. Women wearing highheeled shoes should remove them before using the slide, as the heels can tear the fabric"

As a passenger, I was treated to this announcement on a recent flight. I had two reactions:
1 — some men may wear high heels (not me, but I'm not judging anyone who does, and I know a few)
2 — they could have added:
"Those wearing heels should first slip on their High Heel Shoes Aircraft Escape Slide Enablers, which will protect the slide from any damage."

These are simply a pair of Teflon covered knobs (one size fits all) that go over the sharp end of the high heels, rendering them into something that can now glide across the fabric of the aircraft's escape slide with no risk of causing any tearing.

xenzag, Dec 10 2021


       //Teflon covered knobs//*

[* not a euphemism]
hippo, Dec 10 2021

       [hippo] beat me to punchline (again), but the idea itself is a winner. It may also be appropriate for other kinds of footwear, so they should be made available to all passengers. Let's not discriminate between those who wear flats, heels, winkle- pickers, etc.
a1, Dec 10 2021

       A kind of spray-on quick-hardening foam* such as is used for home insulation could be used for this and also for people with spiky hair, sharp-edged jewelry/body piercings, long fingernails, etc.

[* also not a euphemism]
hippo, Dec 10 2021

       "As the plane hurtled toward its demise, several passengers final words were "these protective shoe knob things simply don't match my hair colour"
xenzag, Dec 10 2021

       Make 'em large enough and they could be used as flotation devices. 'Boat shoes.'
RayfordSteele, Dec 10 2021

       // Make 'em large enough and they could be used as flotation devices //   

       Suitably sized to sustain an average adult weight in water would likely result in the inversion of the individual, like a sailboat where the weighty end points down and the not-so-weighty end points up.   


       ([8th], you're not here to post these little quips but I'm trying my best)
whatrock, Dec 10 2021

       //the weighty end points down//   

       That could be addressed with spray- on water wings at the wrists. Or, for greater comfort, a whole spray- on boat.   

       As the aircraft approaches the water, nozzles around the fuselage squirt out an enormous quantity of foam which acts both as a shock- absorbing air bag and a buoyancy aid. And it doesn't all get blown off in the slipstream because ... reasons which I haven't thought of yet.
pertinax, Dec 11 2021

       This would make wearing high heels completely pointless.   

       // because ... reasons which I haven't thought of yet //   

       You clearly know this place.   

       // completely pointless //   

       BWAHAHAHAHA!! Ahem, as you were.
whatrock, Dec 11 2021

       Counterpoint: the "worst case" is that all passengers are wearing high heels. Therefore, the plane must carry enough "tips" for all passengers; this is a large volume & a lot of weight.
So, airlines will never implement it.
Better to make the plane able to float (I mean, flying boats are/were a Thing...).
neutrinos_shadow, Dec 12 2021

       Surely this si the wrong way round, Make the high heels useful, like having them full of compressed air or rocket fuel or something, or maybe telescopic springs.
pocmloc, Dec 12 2021

       No. You're not getting it. All aircraft offer a range of extras that no passenger would carry themselves in the case of an emergency. There is the oxygen mask; there is the flotation vest with the whistle and the topping up tube to blow into; and there is the slide. The high heel enablers fall into this category, and would be added to the demonstration carried out pre take-off by the cabin crew of the various safety features. In this case, the removal of the Teflon protectors from their sealed container would be shown, followed by them being fitted to a pair of extra spiky heels. There's no one on the plane who wouldn't pay attention to the safety talk as they waited to see this concluding feature.
xenzag, Dec 12 2021

       // extras that no passenger would carry themselves in the case of an emergency //   

       You mean you DON’T carry your own oxygen mask, flotation vest, whistle, and all that other stuff?
a1, Dec 13 2021

       Right, OK, but what about the people not wearing high heels? Does the kit include a pair of quick-attach spiky heels for the passengers wearing flats?
pocmloc, Dec 13 2021

       No; if you didn't bring stiletto heels, you should improvise something out of the ceramic- bladed actual stilettos that you smuggled past security.
pertinax, Dec 13 2021

       You don't need to smuggle anything past security. You can just carry a 7 inch screwdriver with impunity. Don't believe me? Check the TSA regulations for yourself. Oh and you can also bring antlers on board with you - they're always useful to have at close hand on a flight.
xenzag, Dec 13 2021

       And of course you can get around the 'no liquids' policy by freezing any liquid you want to carry on board
hippo, Dec 13 2021

       ... using a dagger shaped mould?
pocmloc, Dec 13 2021

       Yes, or a small throwing axe mould for larger volumes of liquid
hippo, Dec 13 2021

       There must be a use for the metal Gallium, that's only a solid at temperatures less than 85.57°F
xenzag, Dec 13 2021

       // use for gallium //   

       On airplanes? Sure - it eats aluminium.
a1, Dec 13 2021


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