h a l f b a k e r y
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1/12th of the people who read their horoscope
will be in for a funny prank. All the other horoscopes
standard BS about how great they are, how wonderful
everything's gonna be, but one month is extremely nasty.
Aries: You're a wonderful person and this is your month.
Leo: Your inner
beauty shines as you find true love this
Sagittarius: You're smelly. Very very smelly. Use some
for Christ sake. You smell like a damn goat.
Capricorn: Like beautiful flowers, you're really blooming
and great things await you.
The sagittarius would of course read the other
and see that only theirs was singled out. Now I assume
NOBODY would take this seriously and jump off a bridge,
they'd see that all the other sagittaria got pranked too
would laugh and have a good time.
Of course, this would change every month so everybody
gets a chance to be part of the fun.
[Voice, Jan 26 2020]
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||In the novel "Dirk Gently's holistic detective agency", the
protagonist always has a terrible horoscope in his local
paper, because he'd once riled up the mystic.
||"Pisces: Several people you haven't seen for decades unexpectedly show up at your memorial service".
||"Taurus: your post-mortem reveals that your claim to being
immortal was an exaggeration."
||"Libra: When you tell your friends and family 'I feel really ill' you will be entirely correct, and at your funeral they will be racked by remorse".
||//Have one month be very insulting and nasty. (in a fun
||You see, [doc], this is the mistake you keep making lately.
You begin with a potentially evil idea, but then somehow veer
off into niceness.
||Off with his head. Oh wait, maybe we could get by with just
a few fingers and toes, or to make things simpler we could
just give him a hair cut, or brush his teeth for him, or
something like that...Right???
||Wrong. "RELEASE THE ANTEATERS !"
||(Anteaters have huge claws, but no teeth - and an enormously long tongue. They can, therefore give you an extremely nasty lick.
||Terrible way to die ... )
||//They can, therefore give you an extremely nasty lick...
Terrible way to die ... //
||I hadn't realized [doc] was so toxic - you mean like a cane
||More like a cross between a Fugu fish and a Basilisk, but basically yes.
||Poison wouldn't enter into it but yes, attempting to
lick me (or anybody without being invited first) is
probably not a good idea. Could lead to... trouble.