Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Butter from the Human Udder
(+30, -30)
  [vote for,

Butter made from the milk of women would be both and erotic foodstuff AND would likely be tasty as well. Dirty old men and women could spread it on their toast in the morning. This would also silence people worried about bovine oppression.
phunklerot, Aug 24 2000

Monkey Butter http://www.jwz.org/...e/monkeybutter.html
Good ol' jwz [wtanaka, Aug 24 2000, last modified Oct 21 2004]

(??) "Baked" http://faulkman.air...m/cheese/main.shtml
Cheese, not butter, but... [egnor, Aug 24 2000, last modified Oct 21 2004]

'A Human Touch Is Added to Infant Formulas' http://www.nytimes....hildren/17BROD.html
No prizes for guessing what it is. [angel, Aug 24 2000, last modified Oct 21 2004]

Underwear vending machines in Japan http://www.snopes2....x/kinky/panties.htm
Re: selling of underwear (Mephista's comment). [Jeremi, Apr 10 2002, last modified Oct 21 2004]

Human milk http://news.bbc.co....pacific/2702123.stm
Chinese cuisine [8th of 7, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]

Hans Locher of Swiss Restaurant "Storch" http://www.timesonl.../article4776425.ece
is threatened with regulatory action should he go through with his plan of using breast milk in restaurant dishes. [jutta, Sep 25 2008]

GM goats make "human" milk http://www.dailymai...sians.html?ITO=1490
[Spacecoyote, Feb 11 2009]

Daniel Angerer: Mommy's Milk Cheese http://chefdanielan...02/mommys-milk.html
"from a chef's perspective it needs some help." [jutta, Mar 04 2010]

The Mother of all Cheeses http://www.guardian.../breast-milk-cheese
Same story as above, covered in The Guardian [hippo, Mar 10 2010]

Miriam Simun, Human Cheese http://itp.nyu.edu/...10/10/human-cheese/
Student project at NYU [jutta, Jan 21 2011]

Baked http://www.food.com...stmilk-butter-53903
A few here claim to have made human butter. [spidermother, Jan 29 2011]

Human ice cream http://www.bbc.co.u...and-london-12569011
£14 per portion [pocmloc, Feb 25 2011]


       mmmmm.... somewhat disturbing
xlr8r, Aug 24 2000

       I have thought of this too. And how about cheese? Nursing women could make extra money at home (or, perhaps they would have to go to a "dairy" for sanitary reasons. I don't see the erotic aspects of it, but it could mean less exploitation of animals. Plus, it would probably be more nutritious for humans than cow milk.
mrthingy, Aug 24 2000

       According to a recent Discover magazine article, it seems to be only thought a genetic aberration that humans can digest milk at all, after the infant years. Most animals become lactose intolerant after the time they would be weaned.   

       And from experience, human milk is nice...Purrr...
StarChaser, Aug 24 2000

       [StarChaser] - just a follow-up: Large portions of the world are lactose-intolerant, most Indians for example. Eating milk which has already been digested by something else (i.e. Yoghurt) is OK though.

Human milk tastes very sweet and is not as fatty as cow's milk so I'm not sure it would make such good butter. Yoghurt though might be a promising idea.
hippo, Aug 25 2000

       could young dirty men also use this product........ cause i ...uh.....no this guy whos intereseted....or ...........oh.....damn caught again
head cheese, Aug 25 2000

       Do women lactate in sufficient quantity to provide milk for their infants AND material for cheese? I guess women can lactate for a long time as long as something keeps removing milk, but I never got the impression that they could release more than a bottleful at any given time.
centauri, Aug 25 2000

       First of all, blech. Second, I have a friend who has long thought that cat cheese would be the best tasting thing on earth. More blech.
Caroline Rose, Sep 08 2000

       Boy if THAT doesn't sound like the tagline to a bad porn movie... <Referred to a now removed annotation, something about 'Man Fat'>
StarChaser, Sep 18 2000, last modified Sep 21 2000

       That sounds like an insult. However, consider this: Oppressed Bovine are fat, splotchy and barefoot. Lactating Female Humans are fat, splotchy and barefoot. They both get Mad Cow Disease. If we could herd and brand the all the Lactating Humans we just might be able to produce enough humanbutter to feed a Fat Man or two enough to produce enough Man Fat to panfry some cow to the Lactating humans to replenish the supply so the Fat Man or two have energy to hump cows in Porn videos.
thumbwax, Sep 19 2000

       Wasn't intended as an insult...There aren't any good porn movies, just some of them are worse than others.   

       <grin> And that all sounded like 'How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?' <boggle. I typed that all in one go with no typeaux...>
StarChaser, Sep 21 2000

       For the home viewer: The now deleted other guy provided the insult, not StarChaser. I believe someone also commented about the proliferation of cow-related postings and suggested another section; How about this one? halfbakery:food:udder[ahem]
The sixth sick sheiks sixth sheep's sick.
thumbwax, Sep 23 2000

       Ah, so desu.   

       <Yeesh, that sixth sheep thing is even hard to READ...>
StarChaser, Sep 23 2000

       Yeth, you thee ThtarChather, it'th the unanimouth worldth toughetht tongue twithter.
thumbwax, Sep 24 2000

       Oh yeah, baby. I'm gonna milk you 'til the cows come home ;)   

       It's interesting that farmers don't do this already? Picture a large, mostly female farm family. And everyone's lactating. Disturbing, yet practical!
simpleknight, Nov 13 2000

       Somehow, and call me slightly sick on this one, I can't get the idea of giant breasts grazing the fields out of my head.   

       Now there would be a use for GM organisims
imagooAJ, Nov 13 2000

       I like to be the one doin' the milking...Oh yeah baby!
quinnman, Nov 13 2000

       Oh,Cheeses what next?
gcsj48, Nov 15 2000

       Good grief
bristolz, Jan 10 2001

       //Most animals become lactose intolerant after the time they would be weaned.//   

       I think that depends upon milk consumption. Many farm cats drink cows' milk their whole lives without any problem.
supercat, Jan 11 2001

       I think that the babes would have enough of the milk, and none would be left over for you all.
Vance, Feb 05 2001

       I'm not convinced by the lack-of-oppression factor. You'd end up with dairy sweatshops.
synaesthesia, Apr 23 2002

       See link to BBC news item.
8th of 7, Jan 29 2003

       I can't point to an exact religious passage from any religion banning the consumption of human milk after weaning, but i'm pretty sure you'd have religious groups protesting daily   

       on the other hand.... naaah, not even going there
slyphter, May 15 2003

       Did you see the price of the meal in 8th's (don't say 8th's out loud - it sounds silly) link? At $33k a meal you really have to like human milk.
Worldgineer, May 15 2003

       ok.....pregnant/lactating women are very sexy....big milk filled breasts..dark aereola...midnite snack..lol.. but...how does a person induce a woman to begin lactating if she's not pregnant or unable to get pregnant????????
SILVERADO, May 15 2003

       My guess would be the right hormones (ah, modern magic through chemistry). Seems like a lot of effort for butter though.
Worldgineer, May 15 2003

       I think the idea is GREAT but very impractical. Human cheese would be produced in such small quantities and would be so expensive to make considering the lactating women need to be paid, that it wouldn't really be worth the effort to mass produce it on a statewide scale let alone nationally.   

       I'm still keeping an eye out for some human cheese though just to try something new ;)
cheezepleaze, Mar 23 2004

       //Large portions of the world are lactose-intolerant, most Indians for example// Hippo, what exactly gives you that idea? Are we talking about American Indians here or Indian-Indians?
riskyrisk, Mar 23 2004

       Great idea and great comments too. But sadly, it won't work. Human milk cannot be made into cheese or butter.
ProblemSolver, Aug 31 2004

       And you know this because...
Worldgineer, Aug 31 2004

       i dont know if lactating women are going to be willing to give up their breast milk for dirty old men or women to drink. i think that they would much rather give it to their children.
bobbybobson, Aug 31 2004

       [WorldEngineer] I remember learning it in college a number of years ago.
ProblemSolver, Aug 31 2004

       Because they've tried it? Or is there science behind that statement you're not sharing?
Worldgineer, Aug 31 2004

       The latter. I'm not sharing it because I don't remember what it is.
ProblemSolver, Sep 01 2004

       Oh, the old (this is true because someone told me once) trick. Good one.
Worldgineer, Sep 01 2004

       Sesame bagel with humanbutter and vagina jam please, to go.
phundug, Sep 01 2004

       Oh, for God's sake.
nomocrow, Sep 26 2008

nineteenthly, Feb 11 2009

       Wow, 23 buns & 23 bones.....which way to vote....hmmmmm. I think.....Bone [-]
simonj, Feb 12 2009

       I don't see anything wrong with this, but it doesn't seem very practical. If I were a woman, I don't think I'd be interested in producing extra milk for this purpose. Maybe once, just for fun.   

       I think the main problem is that you have to milk frequently, without interruption, to keep lactation productive. No vacations. Too much trouble.
colorclocks, Feb 12 2009

       Just read jutta's link. There's a lovely typo in the final paragraph of the article.

//I wondered if it was ethnical//

Cue unexpected deluge of hate mail from equal rights campaigners.
DrBob, Mar 05 2010

       interesting idea for a cottage cheese industry. I imagine screening would be pretty extensive given the ease of transmission between humans (as compared to cow to human).
FlyingToaster, Mar 05 2010

       Can't believe i haven't mentioned this before: I'm almost sure you can use it to make gulab jamun.
nineteenthly, Mar 05 2010

       baseball-sized standard-looking cheese globs plastic-wrapped with pictures of a big-boobed woman on the front.   

       For the male version, can we sell liposuctioned fat for cooking ?... and also be featured on the box.   

       <sigh> this meme is gonna take weeks to get out of my head.
FlyingToaster, Mar 10 2010

       Homo milk?
Cuit_au_Four, Mar 12 2010

       Praise Cheeses! [+]
Grogster, Jan 21 2011

       I can't believe that this is still here but my Gorilla Cheese Sandwiches idea was deleted.   

       Ah, I see...it was redundant.
Carry on then.

       This would probably be good for the immune system, aswell. [+]   

       And another for bringing to mind one of my favorite reveries (which involves a moderately endowed asian wet nurse).
MikeD, Jan 21 2011

       I'll send you a link, [MikeD].
normzone, Jan 21 2011


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